This Time Is Different
I had an interesting conversation with my husband last week about all of our upcoming life changes, and he mentioned that he’s scared to death about this new baby. Not so much about how to be a parent, finances or anything like that, but more along the lines of our age and how to keep ourselves healthy for our children.
While 36 and 37 years old doesn’t really seem all that old, in parent years? We are pretty much ancient. In the obstetrics world, I am considered AMA: Advanced Maternal Age which we all seem to chuckle at every time I go in for an appointment. At 37 I am about a thousand times healthier than I was 5 years ago when I was pregnant with Jackson. Despite my morphed sense of reality (a.k.a, I feel as big as a house right now) comparing pictures from my first pregnancy to now helps a great deal. Even though I don’t feel like it, I am much smaller this pregnancy. With Jackson I threw up almost daily for 25 weeks, this time (and perhaps it is thanks to my good friend Zofran) it has been nausea. My tummy seems more rounded, high and pointy this time around and she is definitely positioned differently than I remember with Jack. Her kicks are low resulting in the most delightful jabs to my cervix and bladder. I also have zero issues sleeping. I had some major insomnia with Jack. Not the case this time. As a matter of fact, I could sleep anytime. Anywhere. I don’t think I even moved last night.
It is no secret that I haven’t enjoyed being pregnant. Frankly, I’m a disaster. I feel so limited in what I can do. Exhaustion following my 9 hour work days are taking their toll on my home life. All day, I have to find a way to “live with” my limitations (i.e. nausea, sheer exhaustion, discomforts). When I get home, I need a break. I need to let go and not have anyone expect anything of me. I want help without having to ask. I want to be babied and pampered.
Is this too much to ask? LOL
Besides the physical differences in my pregnancies, I have a completely different mindset this time around. With Jackson, I wanted to keep him in my belly as long as possible. Yes, there were a number of logistical reasons for this, but I was also kind of scared. I had zero idea what to do with a baby. I read every book, attended prenatal classes but was completely clueless the day I took him home. With all the lessons I learned the first time around, I feel so at ease with bringing my little princess into the world. I feel like I know what I need. I know what I’m doing. I remember feeling super overwhelmed when I started my baby registry for Jackson. Which bottles? Breastfeeding? Do I need that Pack N Play? What about a bottle warmer? This time around, piece of cake. I easily picked out everything I know I will want and need.
Probably the most important of differences, and one we didn’t have any control of with Jackson, is that we are in our home. We will not be in the process of moving and living out of boxes. We will have her nursery ready and her crib built. We will have a real home filled with love and memories to bring her into.
I’m not living in fantasyland. I know that a newborn is not all rosy and beautiful. I am aware that I will have sleepless nights and unnecessary trips to the ER. It will be a major adjustment going from one kid to two. Our very scheduled existence will be a disaster. Bickering will be at an all time high. PPD will likely rear its ugly face.
However, this time is different. I’m ready. I know what to expect. I’m not afraid.
With that said, we have had a very busy Labor Day weekend filled with plenty of labor and nesting. Baby Girl’s room was painted and new curtains hung. We made a couple of large purchases including her bedding set (the adorable Daniella by CoCaLo Collection) and the Graco Fast Action Fold Jogger Click Connect stroller and carseat (which by the way, Target is having a HUGE baby sale including 25% off strollers right now that I think ends on the 7th). We cleaned the house from top to bottom.
I also cheered one of my dearest friends on at the finish line for her first ever 10K which she rocked with a time of 1:07. I WILL be joining her for next year’s Women Rock 10K!
I am 23 weeks along this week! Just 3 1/2 months to go until my little princess arrives. Jackson says she is the best Christmas gift ever. Love him. Hey also likes to say, “Hey pregnant girl. I bet I can beat you up the stairs!” Yup. Pretty sure you can, buddy.
Is it December yet? I’m so excited!