Mixed Bag Of Rant

I know, I know… I should’ve updated.

Clomid round #1 was a bust. It was CRAZY. I was super late- AF didn’t show until 19dpo and I kept getting BFN’s. UGH! I was thinking GREAT, more drugs now to make AF come. She did show and she was meaner than all mean. I was diappointed about not being pregnant, but relieved that there wasn’t something wrong.

So, it’s on to Clomid round #2. The doctors changed me to take it earlier this cycle- days 3-7 as opposed to days 5-9. Apparantly they want me to make more follicles and more eggies! The side effects have been much better while ON the pills but now following are suddenly worsening. I have now had a headache for 2 days and the dizzy spells are becoming much more frequent. At least I’m not bawling and crying over every little thing- that was sure a nightmare last month. I am HOPING that is all good though. I will go in for my first ultrasound for this cycle to see how the follies are developing- hopefully I will have some nice big juicy ones ready to burst!

We have decided that if this month is unsuccessful, which I seriously don’t know if I could bear another BFN cycle, then we will quickly move into artificial insemination. My doctor sure doesn’t like to beat around the bush (no pun intended).

I would so love for this dream to come true for us. Over New Years, our friends brought over their little one year old boy who quite possibly is the cutest baby ever. I watched my “Joe” coo and swoon over the little guy- he wouldn’t even let anyone else hold him. It made me that much more determined to give him a child. We’re so ready and we’d be great parents!

We are being realistic as well. Joe and I make a good living, we have a nice home, and are still madly in love after 4 1/2 years of coupledom. We are happy. While giving in to infertility will be heartbreaking, it is not the end of the world for us. Short of booking the tickets, we have plans to take a 2nd honeymoon back to Jamaica, a tour of Italy, a weekend in Wine Country and countless other dream vacations that no parents of babies we know would be able to take. We enjoy fixing up our house and have the money to do it. We truly do enjoy our “toys” and the finer things in life. Some have even told us- “Why would you want to spoil that with a child!” I guess the moral of the story is, I love my husband with all my soul and no matter which way this tale ends- we will still be together and happy.