Mixed Bag Of Rant

This pictures pretty much sums it up (I’ll leave it up to you whether or not you think it is real!)

Here’s my travel log since I wasn’t able to get online much during the trip.

Day 1: Basically spent on the plane. 4 hour flight to Los Angeles and then another 8 1/2 hour flight to Tahiti. You’ve never known discomfort until you’re PREGNANT and sitting on a plane for that long. Watched Cloverfield 3 times. Ugh. We landed in Tahiti around 9pm and went straight to the hotel and basically went to bed.

Day 2: Discovery of our horrific hotel room. Ants everywhere. The bed may as well have been a slab of wood. The sheets were like sandpaper. My back was a wreck. We headed down to a disgusting breakfast and then put our suits on and headed to the pool for a day in the sun. The pool was nice- it was cool and refreshing. Against my better judgment, I drank an ice cream drink (yes, non-alcoholic). We then went snorkeling off the beach- saw a lot of cool fish. Crazy strong current and tough to swim in. After that was my husband’s awards ceremony which took place at another hotel. It was HOT as hell during this 90 minute boring thing sitting on a plastic chair. Following the awards was a dinner… I was starting to feel very hot and uncomfortable and SICK. Well sick is exactly what I got the minute I smelled the mass amount of seafood. I became violently ill for the rest of the night and we started to worry about both the health of me and our baby boy.

Day 3: Called the on call doctor in to have me checked out. The baby was doing fine. I was extremely dehydrated and the doc basically gave me a shot to stop the vomiting (which knocked me on my ass). We were able to fly to Bora Bora where I pretty much spent the afternoon in bed. Which, by the way, really was the most comfortable bed on the entire planet. We were in an over-water bungalow and the views and the water were absolutely amazing. Like nothing I’ve ever seen.

Day 4: Woke up after hours and hours and hours of sleep feeling much better! Had a decent breakfast and decided it was snorkeling day. We were able to snorkel right off of our bungalow. I had two little fish friends that followed me the ENTIRE time we were out there! So cute. I think they were protecting my tummy and the baby. We then took a break and went to get lunch. We waited a 1/2 hour to get waited on. Another 10 minutes before our drinks came (uh… beer and a Coke?) and then another HOUR to get our food- a fish sandwich and a club sandwich. An HOUR. We were pissed. Husband’s stomach then turned sour and we went back to the bungalow to rest. We did get out for a little more snorkeling and then got cleaned up to watch an amazing sunset.

Day 5: Off to Moorea! We took the ferry back to the airport and then the 50 minute flight to the pretty island of Moorea. Again another beautiful resort, and another over-water bungalow. Not as GREAT as Bora Bora but ice cold air conditioning and a comfortable bed to sleep in. The sea life was definitely very active here- saw a lot of crazy creatures- especially at night. The birds were crazy noisy and we actually saw a shark off of our deck!!

Day 6: We rented a car and headed out to the Belvedere lookout which was incredible. We then took the hour and a half drive around the island and had a great time just getting out and away from the resort. Got back to the resort and sat out on the deck to get some sun. We then got ready for our Polynesian Dinner & Show. It was the BEST DINNER we had all week! Steak, baked potatoes, pasta salads… YAY!! We ate like kings. The show was entertaining- definitely not very professional, but it was fun to watch and we were entertained. The heavy beating of the bass drum really got the baby kicking!

Day 7- Day 8: Back to the hell hotel. As we get there, we find out that due to the Air France strike that our flight had been delayed because a CATERING TRUCK hit the plane that was supposed to get us home! We were delayed around 12 hours. After no sleep because of the roosters that crowed all night (at least there were no ants this time), we headed to our flight at 4am. Another 8 hour flight- better movies this time (National Treasure 2 and 27 Dresses). We got to LA around 6:30 at night only to find that our flight to San Fran (yup that’s right we were routed to San Fran before getting home to Minneapolis) was delayed. Will the nightmare ever end??? We barely made our flight back to Minneapolis and by this point were ridiculously tired and ready to be done. Our red eye was a nightmare- fully booked and nobody had any remorse or pity. I ended up in the window seat having a panic attack. So after around 24 hours of travel, we made it back home only to find that our luggage didn’t make it. We made it home around 7:30a central time. I have NEVER been more happy to be home and in my own bed. I slept until noon. We got luggage back later that night and the nightmare was over.

What I did learn from this trip:
1) To save my money next time and go to Hawaii for a Polynesian experience. Who the hell wants to pay $25 for a cheesburger???
2) My husband is amazing. It was a very rough and stressful week with getting sick and a tough time eating and he was understanding. More understanding than he needed to be and I am so grateful he stuck it out with me. During my panic attack he was a rock. He could’ve simply passed out and let me suffer but he stayed up with me until I calmed down. Again… I am blessed and lucky to have him.
3) Our next vacation will be in the good ol’ USA!!