You Can’t Always Win
I love the show Glee for many reasons. Mostly because I was a choir dork throughout the better part of my life and I can completely relate to these characters. Singing was my LIFE in high school and college.
I loved the show even more after Tuesday night’s season finale. In a world where Hollywood endings of “happily ever after” and the “underdog always wins” is leaking into mainstream society, I actually loved that they didn’t win. I loved it even more that they didn’t even place. Why? Because this is how the real world works!!! I’m not trying to be a negative nelly in any way, but in high school, college and definitely life in the world as a working adult- you win some and you lose some. I’ve definitely lost more than I have won in my lifetime. Not that I haven’t tried or worked hard enough, but because, that is just the way things go. How you learn to handle those times that you lose is what builds character. When you win- it feels that much sweeter. I lost a lot of softball games growing up. I wasn’t chosen to sing in the All-State Choir. I didn’t get cast in the musical “You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown” my junior year in high school (I was aghast at this seeing as I would’ve made the perfect Sally Brown). I didn’t always get picked for the solos. All of this losing stuff that I learned throughout my childhood taught me how to roll with the punches in the adult world. I didn’t get an offer for every job I ever interviewed for. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure I got many more rejections than I got offers. Even in my current job, MANY of my ideas are shot down on a daily basis.
Nothing shows this “give me what I want without having to do any work” mentality better than some of the Gen Y’s out there. I work closely with a Gen-Y’er right now and no lie, it is insanely frustrating. It is plain to see that she grew up very differently from me and has gotten a lot of handouts. After graduating from college she EXPECTED the company to hire her into Marketing. At her first review, she EXPECTED to get a huge bump in pay. She got the job, but didn’t get the pay. I’m not gloating, that’s just a reality of this world right now, honey! After being in the business world for over 10 years now, I have definitely learned not to expect anything- I just continue to work hard with HOPES (not expectation) that it will pay off someday. Besides, I would much rather be recognized for the work that I do rather than simply just showing up every day and keeping a chair warm.
I have heard all stories from my sister, who has boys ages 8 and 4, that recreational sports now have leagues for baseball and soccer where they don’t keep score and where everyone gets a trophy. I’m not going to sugarcoat- I didn’t like to lose in softball and I’m pretty sure I cried more summers than not when my team didn’t do well enough to bring home a trophy. However, this is where I learned about motivation. This is where I learned about team work. How on earth are the youth of today ever going to learn how to accept failure? What is going to motivate them? I love my son. I love him more than anything on this planet. It takes a ton of restraint not to spoil him, but I guarantee, he will not get everything he wants. Not from us. There are a few things that my husband and I have stuck to since having a kid- the early years have been about his schedule and sending him to an actual school as opposed to a typical daycare regardless of the cost. The other that I know we will stick to is that he will have to work to get the things he wants. Good grades. A summer job. Sure, he could easily slack off and we would foot the bill, but that is not how we want to raise him.
I do want my son to have many of the things that I didn’t have growing up; however, I still want him to grow up understanding what having a work ethic is, how to be motivated and sadly, he needs to understand how it feels to not get everything he wants.