Mixed Bag Of Rant

I have been on the Medifast program for 9 weeks and I am quite proud of my ability to stick to it.

However, the further I get into the program, the more tempted I become. Yes, I have had a few cheats over the last 9 weeks. They mostly consisted of a glass (or two) of wine or in the case of the Oscar party a couple weeks ago, full fledged jumping off the wagon for about 24 hours.

The good news is, it didn’t stifle my progress. While I didn’t see enormous losses those weeks in which I indulged, I also didn’t see a gain. I was also able to jump right back into the program without letting those weak days drag me into a downward spiral. I can also thank my many years of Weight Watchers for training me to get in extra fitness when I have indulged because I think that has helped significantly.

Lately, the urge to eat foods outside of the program are immense. We hosted a play date yesterday with Jack’s best friend Andrew and his parents and served pulled turkey breast sandwiches. No biggie, right? On plan, yes? I wanted a bun, chips and salsa so terribly bad. When I ordered a salad on Friday, I didn’t pay attention and when I opened my bag back at the office to eat, it had come with a pesto mozzarella flat bread. It smelled so good. It took every ounce of willpower to throw it away. Part of my program is taking note of the moments I am punched in the face with temptation. What is the situation? What am I feeling? Why do I want these foods? What time of day? All of these things factor into how I will control my diet once I am in the maintenance phase and essentially, for my lifetime.

The good news is that I am in the home stretch. I lost only 1 pound this week which is frustrating as I worked so hard to stay on program. Why couldn’t it be more? On the other hand, I have lost 23.3 pounds on Medifast and I am just 15 pounds from my goal!! I am in disbelief. I discussed with my Medifast Counselor today how badly I was tempted all week and he gave me some awesome advice: “Keep your eye on the prize by re-reading the original reasons you decided to lose weight in the first place.” Solid advice. Here are my top 5 reasons (I probably have more somewhere…):

1. Health & Wellness: I want to be around for my son for long as I can. Prior to my weight loss I had high blood pressure and high cholesterol. I am proud to announce that my blood pressure is now normal. I am also very close to having a normal BMI. For the first time ever, I am actually excited to have a physical this year. I can’t wait to see what a healthy person’s numbers look like. I can’t wait to have my weight not to be one of the things my doctor talks about when I go in for a sinus infection. I also have visions of my weight loss helping with my endometriosis and ongoing issues with polyps and fibroids. No, I’m not having crazy pregnancy wishes or visions; however, maybe I can at least stop taking the medication to control it not to mention saving money on a rather painful surgery.
2. Vanity: I’ll confess some of my reasons for wanting to lose weight are completely vain. Who doesn’t want to look and feel beautiful inside and out?? I love being able to shop at any store I want.
3. Pictures: For the last 3.5 years of my sons life, I have avoided being in pictures because I HATED the way I looked and was mortified when I saw pictures of myself. I don’t want to hide behind the camera. I want to be right there next to him capturing our memories.
4. Fitness: Despite my being out of shape (first run of the season outside on the most beautiful spring day ever = painful), my 1 mile time is the same as it was last summer when I was 23 pounds heavier and running 5 days a week outdoors. I have been able to increase my speed and endurance. Losing the weight is helping my running- less weight equals less stress on my joints and a whole lot less friction! So much more enjoyable!  
5. Expense: Medifast is crazy expensive. There is no way I’m letting this money go down the drain and no way in hell I want to have to do this ever again.   

As I get close to goal, I have started thinking about what to do with my bigger clothes. For a moment in time, I actually considered keeping them “just in case” I gain weight again. I realized thinking in that way is just like saying that all this hard work over the last year was for nothing! So, NO WAY. NOT THIS TIME. I plan to either sell my clothes to consignment or donate them. If I gain weight, then I guess I am wearing some tight clothes for awhile! Once I have completed my Medifast transition, I am also planning to sign up for MyCoach at LifeTime Fitness to help keep motivated and keep my fitness goals on track.

No more yo-yo. This time I lose the weight and keep it off. Forever.