Mixed Bag Of Rant

On Fit Friday, I talked about commitment. Making a commitment to something isn’t always easy when it requires a massive lifestyle change overhaul. Determining what your key motivator is will lead to success.

One of my top motivations for a healthy lifestyle was to try and treat my endometriosis holistically meaning no hormone treatment and no more surgeries. Estrogen is known to stimulate the growth of endometrial tissue, so reducing estrogen levels is the key. I was told that reducing BMI and getting regular exercise will naturally lower estrogen levels which in turn will help alleviate pain. I have been on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) since my laparoscopy/oophorectomy last August and it has not been fun, so the only way to really know if my weight loss has helped my condition was to stop therapy. Upon discovering that Medifast’s heavy reliance on soy protein in their meals was worsening my endo, my first cycle test was a failure and I was in a world of pain. Being stubborn and persistent, I decided to stay off the hormones for another month to see what would happen. I started seeing my chiropractor and added an antioxidant powder and progesterone cream to my daily vitamin regimen. I continued working out 3-5 days a week and started limiting my Medifast meals to their soy-free products (and there aren’t many to choose from). My TOM was wicked late (day 35… if I was TTC I would’ve taken about 100 pregnancy tests by this point), but shockingly… it hasn’t been horrible. Dare I say… normal? Sure the normal bloating and headaches have been present but the cramping has been normal and not “endo” cramping (if you have endo… you know what I mean). This makes me hopeful. I had been seriously considering a hysterectomy next year and the thought of it, at age 36, makes me sad. A hysterectomy to me means losing my womanhood and intensifying the fact that I am indeed infertile. I don’t want to give in. So, being relatively endo pain free this cycle is a huge victory.

I am so freaking proud of myself for what I have accomplished. There isn’t a single part of this journey that has been easy or fun, but knowing that I may have won the battle over controlling my endo pain through diet and exercise is worth every bit of struggle.

Sadly though, I have reached my Medifast exhaustion. I was supposed to be at goal 2 months ago. Yes, I have made extreme changes to my body (most especially by dropping HRT) and I’m trying to work through it. The truth is, I’ve had small cheats. Nothing big, but a couple beers, a couple cookies, a bun with my hamburger… all of those things throw you out of the fat burning stage of Medifast. You can’t do it on the program, but somehow I have talked myself into believing I can which is what got me here in the first place, so WHY am I doing it??? Ugh. Stupid brain.

My weigh in today… *sigh*. I’m back up 3 pounds this time up to 157.5. WTF. I confess I had some cheats. A bit of alcohol. A bite of chocolate chip banana muffin. But 3.5 pounds worth of cheats??? My counselor kind of shrugged it off. Let’s face it, TOM = water retention = bloat. I wasn’t going to win that epic battle. I’m trying not to let it bother me, but it does. I’m frustrated.

I know I have said it in previous weeks, but my goal this week is to be 100% on plan. NO cheats. No little bites or tastes. No alcohol *cries*. I will drink 80+oz of water a day. This goal is lofty, but I was challenged to get two 15 minute bursts of exercise EVERY day and 3 days of strength training in this week. Surely I can manage two 15 minute bursts of exercise, yes? Perhaps if I actually get up when my alarm goes off…

Based on my stress level on this lovely Monday (yes, sense my sarcasm), these bursts of exercise will probably do me some good in that department.

What are your goals for the week?