The New Girl Syndrome

The New Girl Syndrome

I am now 3 months into my new job and still very much still the “New Girl”.

I’m not sure when I will shed this title, but I long for the day it will go away. While I am no longer crying my eyes out when I get home, I am still in that phase where I feel uncomfortable and… stupid. I’m surrounded by people who have worked for the company for a decade or more so they are all very knowledgeable and know just about everybody.

Most days I am able to take being the new girl in stride. I use it as an excuse for some of my incompetence; however, I also use it as an opportunity to create how I want to be viewed as a professional within the organization. It’s exhausting. I often wish I could fast forward to a year from now when I know I will feel much more confident, competent and happy.

I am in that place where I am wondering if this is the right position for my skills. I feel as though the position was created to dump the busy work that my colleague hated onto someone else. Trust me, I get it. I did the same thing at my last job when someone new was hired to help the team. I confess. I gave her all my garbage work. So as the new girl, I kind of have to accept my lot and pray that these duties get shipped off to another world. The rest is just waiting. I hear a lot of, “You are going to own this in the future,” and, “You will be responsible for that eventually.” WHEN, I ask. WHEN??!!

I also dislike working in Downtown Minneapolis. I have heard from many that you either love it or hate it and I am sad to say that after a few months (not to mention an upcoming winter looming ahead) that I am leaning closer and closer to the hate side. While I sometimes enjoy my 30 minutes of glazed eyed zoning that takes place on the bus every day, I also dislike many other humans. Particularly those with bad breath, bad odor and uncontrollable bodily functions. I even had a girl fall asleep ON me last week. If you know me well enough, you know I have issues with personal space. I like my bubble. I dislike sharing that bubble with strangers. I miss being able to run errands in the middle of the day. Yes, there is a Target here in downtown; however, I am limited in space. I am not going to be able to carry loads of Christmas gifts and toys onto the bus. I miss being able to go to Medifast for a weigh in over lunch. I miss the MALL. OH god how I miss going to the mall. I often feel trapped when I am down here as though I am stuck here until that 4pm bell rings and I can escape back to my real world. For about a week, I felt incredibly cool walking among the corporate elite but now? I’m just annoyed by it. I long for someone to meet for lunch. I long to find a way to make this feel right.

I know it is early in this job and I seem to be asking a lot. I know I sound whiny.

I am.

Change is freaking hard and this was a big one. I wish I was adjusting better. No, I’m not giving up. I am one of those people who when they make a commitment, they stick it out for better or for worse. I don’t feel like this was the worst decision I have ever made. The work I am doing is adding a skill set to my resume that was lacking.

I just need to learn to be patient. I need to see this thing through and know that I am not going to feel like the new girl forever. A year from now I’ll look back and chuckle at it and WISH that I was the new girl again knowing that I will be bogged down in a pile of work.

2 Comments on "The New Girl Syndrome"

    As crazy as it sounds, sometimes you just have to "fake it til ya make it" when it comes to being the new person at work. I have done it a few times and it is not easy, but the appearance of confidence can go a long way…

    Give it a year, I'm not kidding. It took me a year to settle into my new job. And hey, if you ever need a lunch buddy, just send out a tweet, someone from somewhere else is likely to join you! (though not me, I work in St. Paul now).

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