Mixed Bag Of Rant

As expected, I did not have a good weigh in today. Not only was it weigh in day, but it was body scan day. Feeling very bloated for the last few days, no thanks to my body’s ever changing cycle confusion, I showed a gain of 2.5. After my huge 3 pound loss last week and getting SO, so close to goal this was a major setback in my book. This frustrates me to no end.

However… there is a bright side. My counselor did chalk it up to water weight/retention. I have had that bloated/gassy feeling the past 3 days (related to my girl parts). Even my body scan showed an increase in water. So with that said, we moved on and talked about the excellent parts of my scan. The one that showed me down 2 pounds since my last scan 3 weeks ago. We also cheered the 2 pounds in additional muscle that I gained. My husband will not be as thrilled but I am down another inch in my chest (I’ve never had small boobs… this is so weird to feel compelled to buy a push up bra), a half inch off my waist and another half inch off my hips. Since starting Medifast, I have lost 18 inches from my body, probably closer to 25 inches since I started my journey a year and a half ago. That is a lot and it is something to be proud of.

What is the lesson for today? Don’t despair and carry on. I’m doing everything right.

I’m excited to have a short work week and intend to make the best of my time off. This week’s goals:
1) WATER WATER WATER. 100oz a day minimum to try and get rid of this bloat. (If you have other suggestions, I’m all ears)
2) Workouts for the week:
     Tuesday Night: Cardio & Full Body Resistance
     Thursday Morning: Cardio & Full Body Resistance
     Friday Morning: The Mixx- Group Fitness
     Saturday Morning: Step- Group Fitness
3) My biggest challenge day is Wednesday as I will be going to the Nickelback concert and will be limited on time to eat. I intend to make solid choices although they may be slightly off plan. I will not stray from the plan the rest of the week. I WILL NOT CHEAT!!

My counselor hit the nail on the head when she said, the closer to goal you get, the harder it is to stay on plan. The most important thing I can do right now to get to that all important 150 pound mark is to stick to and trust the plan. The only thing getting in the way is me. Today alone has required an insane amount of self-motivation to not stray despite the temptations that lurk everywhere in an office environment.

I’m ready to get to goal. Let’s do this thing.

What are your goals for the week? How do you stay motivated to keep them?

Exhausted and half asleep, I went to my weigh in on Monday feeling confident.

Little did I know, I was down an astounding 3 pounds. Weighing in at 154, I am just 4 pounds from my goal.

WHAT?

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would see the 150’s again. It is even a little hilarious that I am still considered “overweight” according to the BMI charts. Someone at work actually told me I was looking too thin. I’ve never heard anyone say THAT to me before.  I know for many of my co-workers, the new me is very different from the obese girl they have known for the last 5 years. I just say, I am becoming me. The me I am supposed to be.

Celebrating Mother’s Day: 

My sweet Godson, Connor

Snuggles With Connor

 For the first time ever on Mother’s Day, I was willing to smile for the camera as I snuggled with my baby nephew. I was wearing a pair of low rise jeans from Express (which by the way I haven’t been able to wear Express jeans for over a decade and I actually got teary-eyed in the dressing room trying them on) and a black angel sleeve Gap tee with a satin ribbon around my now tiny waist. The entire day I felt like a pretty mommy. I also brought all of my too large clothes for the women in my family to sift through. An important decision I made in my journey was to give away or consign all of my clothing. I figure psychologically, if I don’t have my large sizes around, I’ll never be compelled to stray from my goal weight again. The best part of my Mother’s Day was going to see my favorite band Daughtry at a small club in Minneapolis. I was dolled up from head to toe. Still wearing my low rise jeans but now with a sparkly tank with hair and makeup to perfection, I felt like a very hot mama. I felt confident. Sexy. Amazing. I am becoming me.

Jackson adores his cousin.

Being so close to goal, my counselor this week encouraged me to start mentally prepping for my transition out of Medifast. With an excited smile, I told her I have been prepping for transition for WEEKS. With my recent discovery of how bad soy protein is for my endo, it is important for me to wrap this diet up so I can start focusing on what “real” food I will need to start eating to control my condition. The first week on transition I will get to add in veggies that were previous not allowed on the plan, when she asked me what I plan to add in I exclaimed, “CORN ON THE COB”. Yum. My husband is excited.

My mom w/ her grandbabies

It is very important for me to remember that the journey doesn’t end simply because Medifast ends. I will have to continue watching my portions, making smart choices and exercising. I’m certain I will not always be perfect. I want to show everyone who made negative comments about Medifast and my weight loss that I can lose the weight and keep it off. Yes, someone told me I shouldn’t bother because I will gain it all back. Nice, huh? I think it was meant to be a dig on the Medifast program, but in a lot of ways, it was a dig on me. What does that say about me? My weight gain didn’t happen overnight. It happened over a DECADE. I will never let that happen again. I don’t want to spend the money to lose weight again. I don’t want to eat Medifast food ever again (no offense Medifast… I love you but I really miss human food).

I have become me and I’m never letting her go.

From about the time we brought Jack home as a newborn to now, we keep using the phrase, “When he gets older…”

If I may tell a truth… the older he gets the harder it gets. I’m thinking “When he gets older” really means “When he’s 18 and on his way to college.”

My 3.5 year old child is:

• Fast
• Smart
• Sassy
• Adventurous
• Fearless

For some reason when he was a baby we thought everything was impossible. In retrospect, we could cart him just about anywhere! How was that impossible? Why didn’t we do more? Sure we had to deal with dirty diapers, feedings and spit ups but that is cake compared to potty training accidents, tantrums and incessant whining.

No flames here, but we chose to parent our child in a very scheduled manner. From eating to sleeping, we have a schedule for just about everything we do. Are we flexible? Of course. Now that Jack is getting older, he is able to voice when he is thirsty or hungry so waiting until a “scheduled” time to eat seems a little cruel and unusual not to mention, there are just nights when he is most definitely not tired at 7:30pm. 

One of the hardest things for us to do is let someone do it for us. I finally talked my husband into going on a real date night. One where we go to dinner and a movie at a normal date time (like… not the middle of the afternoon), stay out late and drink a ton. Despite 3.5 years of her begging, he wouldn’t bend on letting his mom babysit. I haven’t the slightest clue what his hangup was, but I was finally over it. We were going out. Thrilled to pieces that I asked her after all this time, my mother-in-law broke land speed records to get to our house that afternoon. I made a bet with my cranky/anxious husband that she would get Jack to sleep without any issues (or should I say issues outside of the normal 3 year old anti going to bed issues). I dragged my nervous husband out the door so we could make it to our dinner reservations on time. Smartly, he ordered a scotch when we got there. He eventually calmed down enough to enjoy my wifely company and we proceeded to have one of the BEST movie experiences ever. I don’t think there are many of these movie theaters out there, but if you are ever able to buy VIP movie tickets at a Paragon Odyssey theater, I highly recommend it. Around 8:15p, we got a text from mother-in-law: “He is sound asleep.” Immediate relief shown in my dear husband’s face. We even sat down for a couple drinks after the movie.

It was one of the BEST date nights we have had in a very long time. Our marriage ached for it and needed it.

While we don’t consider ourselves helicopter parents, we do have some trust issues when it comes to leaving our son with other people. Yes that includes family. Mostly it has to do with breaking the schedule and the reprogramming we have to do to get back to our daily routine. After my sister-in-law settled down to get married and start her own family over the last year and a half, we lost our go-to babysitter and admittedly were kind of lost. We often drop him at my parent’s house but that typically means an early night out and certainly very little booze (yeah… hubs and I like our liquor). Having his mom babysit for us was a big step. And guess what? Jack is still alive. MIL is happy to have her new babysitter status. It’s a small step towards hopefully bigger things (OVERNIGHT date maybe?? Dare to dream…).

We confess. We are a work in progress. Stay tuned… I have a post forthcoming about our summer trip to Disney. If you thought trusting a new babysitter was hard, try the stress of bringing our preschooler on a plane for the first time…

As usual, I have been filled with excuses for my cheats. My birthday was a week ago and of course I had to celebrate it on more than one day. While I was very conscious of what I was eating, my liquor consumption was through the roof. I’ll be shocked if I post a loss today.

One of the most important reasons I wanted to get to a healthy weight was to try and control my endometriosis as extra weight produces more estrogen and excess estrogen is what feeds endo. Now that I’ve lost a substantial amount of weight, I thought I would do a little “test” to see if anything has gotten better by ditching my birth control for a month. I’m sad to say the endo pain was worse than ever.

I am very adamant about controlling my endo holistically. I haven’t enjoyed being on medication for it and I will do ANYthing to try and control it another way.  This week I will be visiting my chiropractor for the first time since I was 9 months pregnant. He played a significant role in helping me with the pelvic bone pain I was experiencing in late pregnancy (seriously… I could barely walk before seeing him). While I’m not sure an adjustment will work, I have heard great things about acupuncture for endo and I am definitely going to talk with him about that and any other holistic options.

Another factor that I hadn’t considered is how the soy protein in my Medifast diet has been affecting my condition. Dr. Google tells me that those suffering from endo should avoid soy and gluten like the plague. Has my fabulous weight loss plan been worsening my condition? I was lucky enough to get a Medifast counselor today whose specialty is in holistic medicine and she was thrilled to hear that I was looking to control my condition naturally through diet and other means. She agreed that we need to cut down some of the soy and while I wasn’t thrilled with the options available to me, I am willing to give them a try if it will help reduce my pain. Of course, the sooner I get to goal, the sooner I can be done eating Medifast meals so truthfully, I may just suck it up, eat what I like on the program and just get through it. 

To my surprise, I lost 1 pound (laugh it up… but considering the way I conducted myself this last week, it is a victory). I am down 31.3 pounds on Medifast. 51.3 pounds total since January 2011.

I AM 7 POUNDS FROM MY GOAL.

7 measly pounds!! I lost that in my first week on Medifast and now it won’t go away?? So frustrating. Yes, I know it is hardest to lose the last 10 lbs but I am SO ready to be done.The finish line is straight ahead and dang it, I will make it through.

My goals this week:
1) On my honor: I will not cheat on my diet. Not even a little. 100% Medifast this week.
2) As per my Medifast counselor, I am to add 15 minutes of sauna time to my 3 workouts this week. She says it will help to detox (since I DID drink a lot over the last week…) and it is anti-inflammatory and should help with my endo.
3) Stay happy & positive! I’ve got this!

What are your goals this week?

Sometimes it is the little things.

Now that I am 36 (oh god… I said it out loud), I no longer have a big whopping party or crazy night out for my birthday. I care very little about getting presents. I enjoy simple, quality time with close friends and family. I confess, I secretly love the barrage of Facebook love not to mention the little birthday deals I get via e-mail from my favorite retailers. I do love that my co-worker got me fun pens, a couple packs of my favorite gum and bright pink nail polish. My husband is taking me out to a nice lunch today which will be a welcome break in a long day. Did I mention I get the house to myself for a whole hour tonight? Yup. Pretty much the best gift ever.

My husband will disagree, but the best part of the day was Jack waking up before before I left for work this morning. He is very much not a morning child so he was crabby, but somehow before I left he stopped crying, gave me a hug and we exchanged the following words:

Me: See you later Jack, I love you!
Jack: Bye, mommy. I love you more!
Me: I love you the MOST

If you have seen the movie Tangled, you are familiar. Pretty much the sweetest words ever.

I love being a mom.

Out of all the company/business/retailer e-mails I received today, the one from SparkPeople was the most profound and I loved it. I plan to do exactly this: