Month: September 2011

Putting It Into Perspective

Over my unexpected recovery time off (I don’t dare call this a vacation because there was nothing fun about it), I did a lot of reading. One of the books I read was “Two Kisses for Maddy” by Matthew Logelin.

Several moms I follow on Twitter as well as many IRL friends who have been following Matthew Logelin’s blog for the past few years suggested reading this book. I added it to my list and now finally had the time to sit down and read it. To say I was moved beyond words is an understatement.

As a 2 second overview to this memoir, Matthew (a Minnesota native) and his wife Liz were expecting a baby back in 2007/2008. Liz had an extremely difficult pregnancy and ended up in the hospital on bed rest for several weeks. She delivered their daughter Madeline 7 weeks early via c-section and died 27 hours later from a pulmonary embolism, never having held her little girl. This was Matt’s memoir of love and loss.

I’m not sure I have ever actually sobbed reading a book, but I did reading this one. The more I got to know Matt & Liz in his memoir, the more I felt like they were the kind of people that my husband and I would be friends with. I also greatly appreciated his use of the word “fuck” throughout. I’m pretty sure there is no better way to describe being in any of those moments other than to say fuck. God, I love that word. My son is about the same age as Maddy so I can relate to so many of his parenting adventures, especially that of getting over bodily functions.

While reading, Jackson was taking some quiet time before his nap and I was of course overcome with emotion and let a tear slip down my cheek. I didn’t realize that Jack had been watching me and before I knew it, my little person had come over and put his arms around my legs in a preschooler hug that I have become so familiar with. He then turned around and went back to the couch to watch Caillou. In that moment, I was in wonder at what a sweet person my little boy is turning out to be and how deeply I loved him.

If there is anything I have learned from reading Two Kisses for Maddy, it is to live every moment to the fullest with no regret. I thought about how my boss gave me such a hard time for trying to take the day off the day before I had my surgery. I have no regrets and no guilt for spending that time with my husband. There was no way of knowing if something would go wrong and no way of stopping it if it does. We didn’t anticipate my having a longer recovery and of course getting THE final heartbreaking word that my child-bearing days were over has been grueling for all of us- I was thankful for our time together.

Reading this book and of course having way too much time on my hands during my recovery really helped me to put things into perspective. Today, when my boss said she had been losing sleep over the things that needed to be done at work, I furrowed my brow and thought, what a shame to live your life for your job. To each their own, but I feel like my son deserves better than that from me. Of course I take my job seriously and am the best I can possibly be when I am at the office, but there are so many more important things in this world to worry about after I walk out the door each night.

I feel as though all those times I was frustrated with it being “my night” to put Jackson to bed, put him in a bath or change his stinky diapers were silly. I love my time with him. All of it. Even the icky parts. Right now, I am watching the clock just begging for it to move faster so I can get home to my husband and my little boy.

TV Obsession- My Fall TV Lineup

I make it no secret that I love TV. Always have. Always will. Are there other things I could be doing with my time? Of course, but there are also so many things that I DO while watching TV. I’m the ultimate multitasker, right?

I’m a little sad this year as so many of the shows I have been addicted to for years are coming to an end: Desperate Housewives, All My Children and Brothers & Sisters which is already done. I’m sure many others won’t be too far behind. I’ve been keeping an eye on the new fall lineup for something that might catch my eye and here is what I will be watching this fall season:

The Sing Off: What can I say? I’m a sucker for music and an even bigger sucker for a capella music. The best thing about this show is there is no faking it. If even one person in the group sucks or is off, it’ll bring the whole act down. It is just real, raw talent. The Sing-Off is hosted by Nick Lachey and the judges are Ben Folds (Ben Folds Five), Shawn Stockman (Boyz II Men) and Sara Bareilles (LOVE her!!!).

Hawaii Five-0: With many of the old Lost cast joining into this fun, I have to say, I got a little addicted. Not to mention I love Scott Caan. I’m always on the edge of my seat watching this show and will be looking forward to the new season. Still trying to get my husband into it… he’s not biting so far. Hot chicks and hot cars? I don’t get my man sometimes.

Glee: Total Gleek here, what can I say? I used to be one. It is my destiny to watch this show. I have to admit I’ll be watching to see where they take it. While I kind of enjoyed all of the “guests” from the last season, the story line really took a digger. I hope they can recapture some of its former magic.

(NEW this fall)- New Girl: I’m intrigued by this show. I love Zooey Deschanel in the movies, so what isn’t there to love about her on TV? Plus, I love the premise of the show- an unlucky in love elementary school teacher leaves her crappy boyfriend and moves in with 3 unruly (cute) guys. Sounds like it could be fun and I will give it a shot.

90210: This one I’m a little embarrassed about, but I got sucked in being a fan of the ORIGINAL so I couldn’t help but be sucked into this one. While it doesn’t quite have the same appeal as the original, they actually had some great storylines and interesting characters. Usually lands on the bottom of my DVR list as shows to catch up on.

(NEW this fall)- The X Factor: Okay… now, as an Idol fan, I am of course intrigued by this show. I got a little tired of the whole Simon Cowell/Paula Abdul thing towards the end of their Idol run so I’m on the fence on whether or not I will even care for this. It better offer something more exciting than Idol or I won’t give it a second thought. I’m definitely out if they have their Pepsi cups sitting in front of them. Ugh to the product placement. Then again, I’m watching Karaoke Battle USA right now… Yikes. I need help.  

(NEW this fall)- Up All Night: My husband and I immediately latched on to the hilarity of the commercials for this show not to mention a love for both Christina Applegate and Will Arnett. I have a feeling we will be able to relate to this comedy on many levels and are excited to watch this one!

Modern Family: Been a fan of the show since day 1. It is one that my husband and I save to watch for our DVR night on the weekend. We even bought the first season on DVD. My husband seems to have taken to Phil. The comparison is scary.

America’s Next Top Model: Guilty. Pleasure. I’ve been watching this stupid show for forever and I can’t seem to break the addiction.

Parks & Recreation: Another DVR night favorite. It took me a couple seasons to convince my husband that this show is hilarious but he is now as addicted to it as I am and has taken on many Ron Swanson-isms.

The Office: Yet ANOTHER DVR night fave. We own every season of The Office on DVD and have watched it religiously for years. Yes. I cried when Pam & Jim got married. Will be interesting to see what happens without Steve Carell at the helm but excited to see what James Spader will bring to the mix.

Grey’s Anatomy/Private Practice: Two of my long-standing favorites I have been watching for years. Kinda feel like they deserved to be lumped into the same category given the amount of crossover between the two shows. As always, I will be watching.

Shark Tank: My husband and I are crazy chickens who love this show. If you watch it, you know what I’m talking about. We find it fascinating to see what the next “big” thing could be and how much (or little) the investors are willing to give someone for their ideas.

Blue Bloods: A drama about a multi-generational family of cops dedicated to New York City law enforcement. Freaking awesome cast (Tom Selleck- Holla!) and of course: Donnie Wahlberg. Nuff said.

Desperate Housewives: Last season. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Yes. This is a totally crazy amount of TV. Would you believe me if I said, it comes after everything else? After the kiddo goes to bed. After working out. 99% of it gets DVR’d and doesn’t get watched until after the fact. I’m addicted but I’m not totally crazy. Would I watch these shows if I had to sit through them live? Nope. If I can’t fast-forward through the crap, I wouldn’t be interested at all.

Healthiness Journey Reboot

I am proud of how hard I worked this year to lose weight and get healthy. While I didn’t get as far as I had hoped in this journey, the work I did helped me recover from my surgery. With less belly fat (yes… curse of having a baby, I still have some there), my incisions weren’t as irritated while sitting down which I’ve had to do a lot of during recovery. Stronger legs helped to get my up and down to compensate for my limited abdominal use in the first few days. Less weight meant less to carry around when walking was so hard to do.

I feel like this is a good time to start new. Post-surgery, I already have to start over. It will take weeks to get back to my former running pace. I’m not going to magically be able to get up and run out the door no matter how longingly I stare at my sneakers. I need to refresh my food tracking skills as I have lacked in them for the last couple weeks. The hardest part will be overcoming the power of the birth control pills that I will now be on for at least the next 5-10 years. When I had to go on them back in April, I hit a weight loss wall. I know they say you can’t “gain weight” from birth control pills, but when you mess with your hormones, you are kind of messing with how your body works. Know what I mean? Cravings are different and controlling them has to be different as well.

I have my work cut out for me.

I’m ready for the new me and the fabulous life I have in front of me. Bring. It. On.