Mixed Bag Of Rant

Well, I’m 9 weeks along and still going strong. Well… as strong as I can be anyway. The morning sickness seems to have subsided- or, I have gotten control over it. I feel what would happen if I stopped taking my Unisom/B6 combo every night. Despite the fact that I feel like garbage every day, I know it could be worse. I know I’m not showing yet per say, but my pants have definitely been getting tighter. I still don’t need maternity clothes quite yet, which is fine, because I have zero motivation to actually go shop for them. I am pretty sure that I will show early and get very big- seems to be a trend in my family as my sister got very big with both her boys. I am very much looking forward to my 2nd Trimester. I am praying to be one of the lucky ones who starts feeling amazing during those weeks. I have noticed lately that my moods are all over the place. I either lash out or start crying- there’s no in between. Some poor unsuspecting guy at Burger King last night felt my pregnant wrath. All over the fact that they forgot to ring up my Sprite. Would’ve pissed me off anyway, but… OH boy. He got a couple obscenities thrown at him.

On an off note… no pun intended… I was trying to avoid watching American Idol, but got sucked right back into it. Tell me again how an amazing singer like Alaina got passed over for that ugly Amanda chick??? This show sucks. Doesn’t matter- David Archuletta is going to win it all this year by a long shot.

Okay, so I’m still pregnant! Yay! I will be 8 weeks as of tomorrow (or 7w2d depending on if you’re going by my ovulation which overall just has me frustrated and annoyed).

So… here’s my rant. I know, I know this blog has all been about my 2+ year struggle with infertility. On one of my communities which shall remain nameless, there was a fertile rant by a group of infertiles. They were annoyed by fertiles who complained about morning sickness. Now, I realize that I have waited and longed to have a baby since I married my husband. Even before that. I may have even said that I would praise the day that I started throwing up with morning sickness. Well, that day has arrived. I’m not throwing any parties. Don’t get me wrong… I am still beyond thrilled to be having a baby. I know it is a miracle. I know it is the best thing to have happened to me. However, I still have to live my life! When you are sick and nauseous pretty much 24/7 it is extremely difficult to focus on your life responsibilities, i.e. my JOB, or even cleaning the house is about the last thing in the world I can even remotely tolerate doing. So, I’m sorry if I don’t shut my trap in regards to whining about morning sickness. I wouldn’t give up being pregnant for anything, but I’ll admit, I said to myself “I cannot believe I did this to myself on purpose.” My only hope to be able to keep my job is to pray and hope that it goes away in my 2nd trimester. Those of you who have m/s? You understand. I’m sure when it does go away, I’ll be saying “Where did it go?”

Regardless… Morning sickness sucks and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

… After 2 1/2 years of frustration, heartbreak and unnecessary drugs… WE DID IT!!!!

We are currently 5wks, 6days along and things appear to be moving along! I went to the doctor almost right away and had blood drawn. Beta @ 13dpo: 104, Beta @ 15dpo: 270- doubling time of 31 hours which is excellent! Progesterone was also excellent at 34.8. They offered to let me continue coming back every other day until my betas were high enough for an ultrasound, but I opted out. Waiting for those results were insanely stressful, and although they turned out to be a relief, I just didn’t want to go through it anymore. I’ve left this little October 3rd pumpkin in God’s hands. I just have a feeling that this is the real deal for us and refuse to think of it any other way. My first ultrasound will be February 11th (less than a week!!) and we are HOPING to see a heartbeat by then. Based on my beta doubling, they should be high enough by that point. Husband is a variety of nervous, excited, anxious… I think he came to the conclusion that as long as I am relaxed he is relaxed.

Let’s talk symptoms. My boobs, are even bigger than they already were and they hurt like an MF!! I have never been more exhausted in my life. Work is a real task for me everyday, especially when it is a slow period and I’m caught up on my work. Driving requires loud music and little heat from either my seats or my heater or I’ll fall asleep. I’ve got some cramping, but my understanding that is normal. No morning sickness yet (knock on wood).

This pregnancy should make for an interesting weekend in Mexico!! Did I mention we’re going to Playa del Carmen on Valentine’s Day?? Oh yeah! I’m super excited, but mostly because I’m looking forward to sleeping out by the pool on a lawn chair for 4 days. I PRAY that I do not get hit with morning sickness on this trip. PRAY PRAY PRAY!!!

All in all… I obviously couldn’t be more thrilled and can’t wait to document all the exciting things along the way here!!