Mixed Bag Of Rant

I know. Who gives a rats ass about Lindsay Lohan. I’m trying to think of the appropriate word to describe my thoughts on her… pity isn’t it… perhaps disappointment?? I can’t say that I’m a huge fan of hers, granted, she is a talented actress. A talent completely wasted by her use of drugs and alcohol. I won’t deny that I lived a wild lifestyle (mostly alcohol) in my early 20’s (and yes, I was an avid underage drinker), but I also knew when to draw the line and get my priorities straight. Now the drug thing I don’t understand at all, but I guess when you are 20 and completely insecure you’ll do anything to get attention and anything to fit in. Her mom doesn’t help the situation either. Sure Lindsay is technically an adult, but shit, my mother definitely did not JOIN me in clubbing. WTF? One word: ENABLER!!! Mama Lohan- word to the wise- get control of your daughter before she kills herself and someone else. I hope Lindsay goes to jail- would serve her right for thinking she is above the law. What a waste of a life.

As far as my new adventures go, I did it! I finally got a new, professional, exciting job!! What strange mixed emotions I have. I’m excited about the opportunity to finally be in a professional role making real decisions and be able to make a real impact on the success of the company. Most importantly- NO MORE ADMIN WORK!!!! I don’t care how easy it is to be administrative (some actually think it is hard), but I will never go back. It amazes me how little repect administrators get. Even though the work is easy enough for a monkey to do, we really do control and keep sane the lives of those we support. I will miss my boss desperately- he has been so wonderful, flexible and supportive of me in all the areas of my life. Especially with my infertility treatments. Besides a couple of handpicked co-workers who knew about it, he was really the only executive that had any idea what I was going through and he gave me the freedom to do what I had to do. I’m certain I will encounter more than enough of these types of supporters at my new workplace, but it will be hard to replace someone as great as him. As much as I feel as though I am leaving something important behind, it also just feels right to finally be moving forward.

I am not pregnant (for you loyal readers who have asked), but I am at peace. As a reader and full believer of the book “The Secret”, I just know and believe that I will have a baby. I will have her (and yes, I also believe we will have a girl) when the universe works the timing out and will leave it at that. I have faith and a firm belief that I will have my baby girl when the time is right. I can’t wait to meet her!

For my birthday, my sister gave me the book “The Secret”. I’ve heard of the book, but really chalked it up to a bunch of hooey.

To sum it up , the book teaches you how to use the “Laws of Attraction” to get everything you ever dreamed of. That by simply thinking, acting on, and believing it- you can have the life of your dreams. By learning The Secret, the universe will respond to your whims and give you everything you want.

My problem with this is that I come from the school of thought where I should be grateful for all I have. Face it, I’ve got a roof over my head, food in my belly, a job, a husband and a dog. Is there anything else I should need? I suppose these things that I want are much more desire rather than need. So, I thought, what harm is there in giving this a try? The power of positive thinking, right? Self-fulfilling prophecies would be another way to describe it.

Here is what I have asked the universe for:
1) Pregnancy and a baby (for those who are loyal readers, you know these are two VERY different things- having one doesn’t always mean you’ll have the other)
2) A new and exciting job
3) To complete our home remodeling
4) To buy our dream house

I’m not sure how long this whole process takes, but when these things happen, I will surely keep you posted!
One of the pieces of The Secret is to remove negativity from your life. Including people. This, I’m sure you can understand, is hard if not impossible to do. So, instead of removing these important people from my life, whom shall remain nameless for thier own protection, I’m taking the “turn that frown upside down” approach. Trying to help them see the bright side in every situation, and most importantly, trying not to let it shape my thoughts and desires. My MIL is a great example of this (those of you who don’t know what that stands for should message me on the subject). While she is a wonderful lady, I tend to think she is not happy unless the sky is falling and there is some kind of drama. Instead of creating more drama, why can’t she just be happy on the days when there is nothing going on, and all the planets are in alignment. We’ve learned to block these dramatic moments with a nod and a smile and of course… thank god for caller ID. Most of the time we just don’t pick up the phone.

Besides just achieving these desires, I think a big part of my success will be learning how to be a positive thinker and to stop bitching and moaning! Life is too short!

So, I’m 31 now. Officially in the “30 and Over” category. I was sad about it at first, but now I feel as though I am officially an adult! Time to start acting like one, right? No way. I have big plans for my 31 year. Here my top 10 plans:
1) Getting pregnant. One way or another, I’ll get me one of them babies
2) If I don’t get pregnant, I will get into the best shape of my life
3) I will get a new job that pays well and actually has a career path
4) I will get my credit card debt paid off
5) I will live and enjoy life to the fullest
6) “Joe” and I will buy our dream house
7) I will begin to pursue my Master’s Degree
8) I will spend more time with my nephews
9) I will NOT obsess over TTC
10) I will continue to love my husband with all my heart
These aren’t just dreams or desires, these are plans. They are plans in which I fully intend to carry out!!
Here’s to a great 31!