Mixed Bag Of Rant

Oh sweet love songs!!! I really had much bigger hopes for tonights AI, but geesh. I have to admit I was fairly disappointed. Anyway, I’m afraid I don’t have as great of notes on tonight’s performances seeing as I worked late and barely made it home in time to give my husband and dog a hug and have dinner before those… opening theme bars began. Heh! They so need a new theme song. Tonight we were graced by the presence of Andrea Bocelli, by far, the most amazing singer in the universe. I am severely jealous of these Idols for having the opportunity to work with him, and if they don’t realize their good fortune- they really don’t deserve to be on this show and be singers.

Katharine: Or “Kat” as Ryan seems to like to call her. She sang “I Have Nothing”. I fear I have nothing after her performance. I’ve made it very clear that I love her. I think she’s naturally talented and hope she survives this week. I would’ve loved to hear a Katharine Bocelli duet!!! She was pitchy and the judges didn’t like her tonight. I guess in my opinion- if you do Whitney- you definitely do it better than anything that crack ho can do now!! I’m sure Ryan said something else to her after she sang, but I could’ve sworn he said “With the volume down and those boobs, I’m sure you’ll get lots of votes” as he stared at her chest…

Elliott: He sang his signature Donny Hathaway song and was, pretty amazing. Too bad he can’t sing it yet another time in the competition. Dude- Paula Abdul- WTF????!!!!!

Kellie: If she doesn’t make the bottom 3, I’ll be stunned. That was by and far the worst version of “Unchained Melody” I have EVER heard in my life. She butchered, mamed and destroyed that incredibly beautiful song. Why, oh why does America vote for her? I don’t understand!!! I will stand by my vow: If she makes it to the final two- I will stop watching AI forever.

Paris: Singing “The Way We Were”. WOW WOW WOWO!!!!! She really is just awesome. I cannot believe she is 16. What praise from David Foster and Bocelli!!!! She’s one talented and amazing little lady.

Taylor: Sang James Ingram’s “Just Once”. Thank god just once. He wasn’t very good tonight. I’m sad and disappointed for him. Hope he makes it through. Simon really needs to find a better rip: a hotel lounge singer? Does he know that there aren’t any hotels other than Sandals in Jamaica that actually have lounge singers? Lame. Find a better insult.

Chris: Chris is BACK BACK BACK!!!! He was amazing tonight singing “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman”. Fricken long name for a song, but YAY!!! He was so good.

On another note…

Yes it is true… in less than a week I’ll be celebrating the dreaded 30th birthday!!!

Once again, it is time for my IDOL RECAP. This week’s them was The Great American Songbook. As a very big fan of this genre, I was pretty excited to hear what the “Idols” had to offer this week. I have to say… for the most part I was impressed! Everyone did a fairly great job (with the exception of Kellie Pickler- she sucks rocks). As far as Rod Stewart, although he’s funky and a little weird, I like him.

So today’s show started off with a sort of weird dramatic entrance by Ryan Seacrest and then directly going right into the touchy feely meeting of the Idols with Rod Stewart. I found it interesting that everyone got little clips of their singing except for Ace- he got- a hug. Coincidence? I think not.

First up: Chris Daughtry. Chris sang What a Wonderful World and- I liked it! It was stylish and different and a nice departure from his typical wanna be Staind/Live type copying. I appreciated that he got rid of the eyeliner (and definitely appreciated that Ryan made reference to it- I was starting to wonder if I was the only one who noticed). I didn’t really get the vest he was wearing though- the nerd meets rock star thing just wasn’t working for me. Randy thought it was of course “da bomb”, Paula: blah blah (I wasn’t listening to her vacant ramblings), and Simon took all the credit for his change of pace and in surprise comment, said he loved it.

Number 2 for the night: Paris Bennett. Singing Billie Holiday’s Foolish Things, I was of course as blown away as when she did something similar in her audition. She was absolutely spectacular! My only question is: was she heading in for an executive job interview with that outfit? Randy thought she had the greatest night ever, Paula thinks she may have been born in that era (uh… math, Paula, math…), and yet ANOTHER surprise positive comment from Simon- stylish, cool, and terrific and that Paris “bewilders” him.

Our 3rd singer of the night: Taylor Hicks. His comment prior to the start of him singing was backwards: “Flattery is a form of humor”. Well maybe; however Taylor, I think you meant to say HUMOR is a form flattery. Anyway, besides the nervous babbly response to what was a stupid question by Ryan anyway, he sang You Send Me and he was FABulous. Good ol’ Taylor was back tonight and quite impressive. Randy said that he was keeping it real, Paula said he was in the zone (hopefully she didn’t confused him with Britney Spears??), and Simon said it went from what he thought was lame cabaret to magic.

As a brief interlude: they then panned to a little girl holding a sign that said: “Ryan will you be our brother” WTF?

Next up: Elliott Yamin. Okay- I can’t stand it anymore, the Lord of the Rings elf ears severely bother me. On top of that he did a sort of odd lounge lizard thing this week. Perhaps in a desperate attempt to win voters? I just can’t get past the fact that he is odd looking. Amazing singer. Weird Weird Weird. I thought his thing tonight was boring. Randy said it was… nice. Paula tried to tie some stupid comparison to contemporizing the song and something about Michael Buble and Harry Connick Jr. Simon, mirroring my own thoughts, said he was boring and should plan on going home tomorrow, OH and that he has zero personality.

OH boy my favorite: Kellie Pickler. Firstly, my link to Kellie Pickler here, was about one and a million blogs RIPPING on Kellie Pickler. The way she spoke to Rod Stewart? Stupid! Dumb! WTF? As a musician myself, I liked Rod’s little joke- when she said she needed the words, he said “How about the lyrics?” Kellie responded, “What?” as in Duh? Hello? Then she made some comment about him taking a load off of her chest? I will again utter the words: I HATE STUPID PEOPLE. She sang Betwitched, Bothered, & Bewildered. I’m shocked she even knew how to say those words. It was in a word. TERRIBLE. This week’s theme did EXACTLY what I wanted it to do: separate the REAL singers from the ones who have been faking it all this time. You can’t fake this style of music! She fell flat on her face and it was wonderful. Randy said it was pitchy, Paula said she looked beautiful (ahem- NOTHING about her voice), and Simon said it was boring and that she needn’t bother with Bewitched & Bothered, but Bewildered. Heh! Can she please be in the bottom 3 this week? PLEASE?

Next: Ace Young. Hated the new look. Yuck Yuck Yuck. I thought he looked greasy and smarmy. As if he might actually TAKE a 16 year old to her prom- if you know what I mean. He sang That’s All. Heh. That’s all I have to say! It was pitchy and the creepy lip tremble at the end of the song was… well just that- it was creepy and it bugged me. Randy said it was weird in the middle but that his falsetto is $$ (HUH?? I was thinking it needed to go), Paula I missed because my husband was distracting me with something dumb, although I’m sure I didn’t miss much, and Simon in the MOST surprising comment of the night said although it was nasal that it was charming (???). WTF? I’m ready for Ace to go buh-bye.

Last but CERTAINLY not least, and my personal favorite: Katharine McPhee. She sang Someone to Watch Over Me and it was, in a word: stunning. I agree whole heartedly with Simon: she’s an old pro and was in another league and most importantly that she made the other contestants look like good AMATEURS. I will be GREATLY distressed and disappointed if for any reason she’s in the bottom 3. Especially if she’s in the bottom 3 and Kellie is sitting safe on the couch ready to spout out the next stupid comment.

All in all, an entertaining night of Idol! My predictions:
Bottom 3: Elliott Yamin, Kellie Pickler, Ace Young

To see how YOUR picks fare give Fantasy Idol a try!!!

What about Brian is right! WHAT about him? SO what?! For me, the jury is still out on this show. The pilot episode really did bore me to tears. I guess I appreciated a little bit of the background stories and the importance of developing their characters, but I felt like I had started watching a movie only I started it in the middle and had no idea whatsoever about what was going on. The show is essentially about Brian (duh), who is the last out of his “group” to be paired up and married off. The first official episode was much better- some funny moments with Dave and Deena attempting an open marriage and failing miserably, Nic and Angelo and a sperm bank, Brian sleeping with one girl and hooking up with her roommate the next morning, and Marjorie and Adam’s wedding fight (which is only funny because I actually lived that reality a year ago). I’m also not sure that the casting of “Brian” feels right. Barry Watson is cute, but he bugs a little.

Who doesn’t have someone in their group of friends who is the last person to hook up and get married? I can relate to this show on many levels: 1) Because I do know that friend. Only difference is he actually IS the nice guy and doesn’t get laid every night of the week by airheaded dim-wits. 2) Nic has a miscarriage in the pilot. A very timely subject for me.

I guess what I’m trying to say is… while it looks like this show kind of sucks right now, I think it does have potential. I’m hoping the love triangle of Brian/Adam/Marjorie doesn’t completly go on forever, and wait- lemme guess- the series will end when Brian finally ties the knot. I can see that coming a mile away!! I guess we’ll just have to WATCH!

Although I am currently watching the results show, I of course have to give my two cents of last night’s performance. Firstly- since when is Queen so arrogant? Who the hell are they to turn their nose in the air? Say it together now: HAS BEENS. I thought they were sort of rude to everyone. Yeah, AI is sorta lame, but geesh- if you actually want people to attend your current tour, you might not want to piss off 22 million American Idol viewers by knocking the show and its performers.

Bucky Covington: Bucky sang Fat Bottom Girl. I of course could not understand a single word because the guy hasn’t learned what diction means from his AI vocal coaches. On top of that. He looks like a CHICK. It really is time for this guy to go home.

Ace Young: I’ve made it clear, I think Ace is pretty hot. As far as his performance goes? He totally bores me. He’ll make bottom 3 this week. He won’t go home, but he will soon.

Kelly Pickler: EEEEEEEEAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH I cannot stand her. I wish she’d get laryngitis. I wish someone would unearth some horrible secret about her so she’d get kicked off. She absolutely destroyed Bohemian Rhapsody. She looked awful. I’m so sick of her stupid, dumb, ditzy thing. America. PLEASE VOTE HER OFF!!! SHE SUCKS!!! I told my husband last night- if she wins American Idol I will never watch the show again.

Chris Daughtry: I’ve been rooting for this guy. It is rock ‘n roll’s turn to have an American Idol this year. I still want him to win, but I have to admit, all his shit sounds the same. I’m a little bored. Someone needs to tell the people in makeup that they are making him look ridiculous!!!! His eyeliner was so bad that I couldn’t even watch him.

Katharine McPhee: I do think Katharine has one of the best vocals in the competition. Her week was a little shaky but I think she’s great! Gotta cheer for the girl who actually has vocal training!

Elliott Yamin: I’m sad- he’s in the bottom 3. The guy can seriously freakin sing. He’s funny lookin though. Did anyone see the serious amount of saliva in his mouth tonight when he was singing? Ew.

Taylor Hicks: I LOVE TAYLOR. He’s in my top two. He is unique, fun and authentically talented.

Paris Bennett: Okay- I’ve been on the fence about Paris- until this week. Goodness gracious she has a kick ass voice (doesn’t hurt that she is a MN native!!). She was fab this week. She didn’t look as much like a pug this week either. What was with the outfit though??

And… this week’s loser is….BUCKY!!! WHOOOOO WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!!

It has been nearly 2 weeks since my fateful miscarriage. I have been blessed with the well wishes of uncountable well wishes, hugs, and sincerity. During this time, I have found it interesting to watch both how I have reacted to this experience as well as those around me. Firstly, myself. While in many ways my heart still aches over this loss and I’m still disappointed that the miracle of life did not happen for me, I have truly picked up the pieces of my tragedy and am moving on. I don’t get sad or break down in tears when I see a baby commercial, or when my two pregnant co-workers go on about their ultrasounds. My time will come and I’m even more ready for it now. Secondly, is others’ reactions. In lieu of my co-workers’ pregnancies, there is a lot of chatter. Ultrasounds, baby names, diapers, nursury’s… you name it. It’s funny how that talk has suddenly become a whisper when I’m around. You know, that strange feeling you get that people are talking about you and when you walk into the room, the conversation stops dead? Yeah, that is what is currently happening in my world. I’m sure people are really just trying to be overly sensitive to my feelings, but to be honest, it makes me feel worse. I am truly happy for these women and still want to be a part in their stories and their joy. Again, my time will come, and I want to understand what will happen to me!!

Another way that I deal with it is by making jokes. Now, I’ll admit that sometimes my jokes are off color and mostly inappropriate, but it is my ass backwards way of showing that I care. My way of making light of something that is pretty dark.

I am finally feeling like my old self again. I wish everyone would start treating me like my old self! I’m moving on, why can’t everyone else??? I know there are still family members I haven’t seen or talked to, some who know, some who don’t. I’m sure I’ll have to live this out for much longer than I’d care to, but it would be nice if people would give their hugs, their promise of prayers and let us move on.

It is time for my Idol Recap! I know, thank you… hold the applause…

Taylor Hicks: I’m a Taylor fan, but he bored me to tears tonight.
Mandisa: Not a country girl.
Elliot Yamin: I think he’s talented, but he bored me too.
Ace Young: More like Ace YUM. I thought he did better than usual. Is that a TWIN brother? My goodness do they look alike.
Kellie Pickler: WILL SHE PLEASE GO AWAY!!! I cannot stand her. Carrie Underwood already exists- stop trying to be her. Oh, and stop being stupid.
Chris Daughtry: Ahhhh Chris. He needs to win.
Katharine McPhee: She’s awesome. If she goes home this week and Kellie Pickler stays I will stop watching because whoever is calling in for Kellie needs to take the earplugs out.
Bucky Covington: GO FAR FAR AWAY!!! YOU’RE NASTY!!!
Paris Bennett: Okay. I had forgotten her. What does that mean?? Her song was just O.K. tonight. For 16 that girl can fricken sing. Plus she’s got Edina, MN roots so she must be o.k.

On a serious note today, I just wanted to take a moment to share my experience over the past week in hopes of providing comfort and faith for those whose heart may have broken even half as much as mine. Just over a week ago, my husband and I got the amazing news that we were expecting. For only the third time in our nearly 4 year relationship, he got teary-eyed (the others: our engagement and wedding vows). We were blown away thrilled with the fact we were 5 weeks pregnant and so soon seeing as we just got married in October. We told only a few co-workers (the ones who would be affected by us being gone for doctor’s appointments) and a couple close friends. Only a couple short days later, I became very ill and I knew something was very wrong. Wednesday my HCG (pregnancy hormone) levels were dangerously low and I prayed there would still be hope. Friday, my fate was sealed. My levels dropped to nearly zero which indicated that I had indeed had a miscarriage. Knowing this was likely to be the outcome still wasn’t enough to help me prepare with the impact this news had on me. My heart was broken, my spirit wounded. No matter how many times you read and hear that it was out of our hands and out of our control, I still felt this driving need to learn and understand why this had happened to us. Where did I go wrong? What can I do differently next time? How can I be sure this won’t happen again?

Still no answers today, and I am likely to never find them. Upon the advice of a good friend, I listened to my heart and have laid my newfound fears and hopes in the hands of God. My precious baby, barely alive but still in every way a part of me wasn’t destined to be here. We will have our chance, and when that time comes, we will be ready. As first time parents, we had so many fears in making that huge step to starting a family. It changes everything. We now know how much we want to take that step. It would mean so much to us to become parents and I cannot wait for our day to come.

Be strong. Have faith. Good things come to those who wait!