Mixed Bag Of Rant

I know… I know… I am very behind. I really wanted to share my results with all of you because it really is kind of cool and I am proud of what I was able to accomplish!

One month ago, I started the 30 Day Shred.

Today. I finished. (Okay… I finished several weeks ago… but I suck that much at blogging right now)

Here are some before and after photos:

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Here are my thoughts on the Shred…

1) How do I feel about my results? Pretty good. I didn’t lose weight while doing the Shred, but I gained some mad lean muscle mass. I am most definitely stronger today than I was on day one.

2) Can I see the difference? You be the judge. While I’m not exactly rocking Jillian’s abs, I can see that I have toned up in my core, arms and booty and I am very happy with that.

3) Morning Workouts. They still suck. I’m still a total zombie in the morning. Sore all day. BUT… here it comes… I was surprisingly waking up before my alarm would even go off. I only missed getting up maybe 3 weekdays and of course did the Shred at night to make up for not getting up. But just 3 missed mornings? Not bad for a non-morning person!

4) The Shred has helped me KILL my run times. I went from a pace of 11:15 per mile to 10:09. An entire MINUTE. That is insane. Most of the Shred focuses a great deal on core work- I’m a firm believer this is what helped speed up my pace.

5) I’m so happy with the results that I plan to do yet another round of Jillian following my Get Lucky 7K Race tomorrow- I will be doing her Ripped in 30 program.

6) I posted pictures of myself in a sports bra. Holy shit!

I will continue look for activities and ideas to continue being inspired and motivated.

Tell me: what motivates you? 

I was having a conversation with my close friend the other day about my insane workout schedule, and he said to me, “I need to catch your workout bug!” To which I replied, “It’s not a bug, it’s a lifestyle.”

While I continue to struggle in the nutrition department, I am proud that I have made fitness such a necessary and regular part of my routine. When I contracted walking pneumonia in December, it put me down for a month. As in NO exercise. None. At all. I cannot believe how much I missed it and craved it. I suppose it is entirely possible I am overcompensating right now for that month away in trying to do both a 10K training program and the 30 Day Shred at the same time (yes, it is possible that I am also certifiably insane). However, I feel like I have a lot to make up for in missing those 4-5 weeks of pretty much zero activity.

I also gained about 7 pounds thank you to the ridiculous amount of Christmas cookies and alcohol I consumed over the holidays. Holy shit. Did I mention my Super Bowl Sunday sins? It wasn’t pretty friends. Not pretty at all. Between the wings, the chips, the dip and the beer (to mention just a few) I gained an additional 2 pounds this week putting me officially 7 pounds over my goal weight threshold.

I have a lot to make up for. Losing 7-10 pounds may not seem like a big deal for most people, but for me? I may as well try to climb a mountain. Losing weight does not come easy for me. I can’t just “give up” something and the pounds magically come off. My body does not work that way. It took me 2 years to lose 50 pounds. Yikes.

Despite the fact that I am sore on a daily basis because of my buddy Jillian, I am strangely enjoying the torture. Sore means I do not use those muscles enough. Sore means I need to work harder. Sore means I should probably be drinking more water (as I run to the kitchen to fill up another bottle). I don’t intend to keep this workout pace forever. Getting up before 5:00 in the morning really, really sucks. So why on earth am I putting myself and my body through this agony? I’ll tell you why: to prove that I can. To prove to myself that I can set a 30 day goal and stick to it without wavering. If I am truly “shredded” at the end of this, that will just be the icing on the cake. It will also serve as proof that her program works.

Even though I started out pretty sore with the Shred, my body has been growing stronger. I found that I don’t have to do the modified versions. My run pace has increased from 11 min/mile to 10:45 min/mile (which may not seem like a big deal for the very seasoned runners, but this is huge for me- I have been trying to break 11 minutes for over a year now). If there are any takeaways from doing the Shred over the last 15 days, it is showing me the importance of cross training and strength training and how much it can make a difference in running.

For someone like me, who very easily stumbles off the wagon when it comes to diet and exercise, it is extremely important for me to constantly be making very specific goals to stay motivated. I don’t think motivation to exercise is my problem. I’ve got that part down. However my nutrition… it is the monkey on my back… the bane of my existence… the reason for all of my weight management issues.

What I need is to find a way to incorporate my motivation that I had towards Medifast towards REAL food. Why is it that I was able to follow Medifast meticulously, but when I switched to eating real food I have absolutely zero willpower? I have been tracking points on WeightWatchers and it has done zero for me in terms of losing these extra pounds- hell, I actually GAINED weight since I re-started my WW online tools. I’ve tried SparkPeople, I’ve tried My Fitness Pal. I signed up for a free week on JillianMichaels.com but really hated the site (compared to the WW site, it is like it was built by a college grad out of someone’s basement) but I did get a free copy of Ripped in 30 out of the deal which I will do post-surgery, probably starting in May or June.

So, now what??? I need a meal plan, but do not want to do anything expensive like Medifast, Nutrisystem, Jenny Craig or Seattle Sutton (etc etc etc). So,  I decided to try SpecialK.com. No, I’m not doing the Special K Challenge (i.e. eating cereal for every meal like a college kid). They actually have a really nice meal plan with simplified, healthy recipes for busy people like myself. What I like about it is that it is specific. I think where I get in trouble with Weight Watchers is that it is so wide open to interpretation and with that much flexibility, I get a little too relaxed and that is when I start to cheat. I literally make justifications for my shitty choices. It is amazing. With a very specific and set plan, I am much more likely to stick to it. Of course I need to stay mindful of the insane amount of calories I am burning while running and doing the Shred; however, the “plan” will at least keep me in check. Just like with Medifast, if you stick to the plan, it works.

If you stick to the plan. It works.

If you stick to the plan. It works.

If I say this mantra a million times over, will it stick?

P.S. I just chose an apple over a Girl Scout cookie. Progress has been made. As for the wine I am about to consume one hour from now… that is another issue altogether.

I mentioned yesterday as part of my exercise resolve, that I am doing the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred to start to do some strength training and toning. I had my concerns about committing to doing something every single day for 30 days. I have a regular workout routine of about 3-5 days a week, but rarely do I get a workout in on all 7 days. So, the only time I could be assured I can get it in is…

First thing in the morning. Fuuuuuu… 

I have never been a fan of working out in the morning. It always seems like a good idea, but my resolve always dies quickly after it starts. Let’s face it. As a mom? I freaking TREASURE my sleep.

Pros:
1) If I workout in the morning I am done for the day. YAY! Glass of wine at dinner tonight!

And… that’s all I can think of for pros.

Cons:
1) I am hungry as hell when I first wake up. If I eat before I workout, I’ll get cramps. If I wait, I don’t feel right either. I can’t win!
2) 4:50a is fucking early yo. Even the dog gave me her “fuck you” look, curled up and went back to sleep.
3) I am just non-functioning in the morning until I take a shower. Trying to do something that requires coordination at 4:50am? Not a good scenario for Jo.
4) It doesn’t wake me up or fire me up at all. In fact, I’m even more tired than ever.
5) If it is an awesome workout, I will feel sore and miserable the entire rest of the day.

I’m sure I can think of more cons, but those are my top 5.

Now, before you think I’m a pouty pants, this is all based on today being my first day of getting up before humans should ever be awake. If I am going to stick to the Shred, I have to get up before work to get it done. There is really no other option and I’m not going to give up my evening runs for this (and I don’t recommend trying to do the Shred and a 10K training program back to back. My body is really, really pissed off at me today for trying that approach).

I’m sure I will tell you more about the 30 Day Shred as the month goes on, but hear me now… it is not for the weak. After the first night, my cocky mouth called it a piece of cake. On day 3? I kind of want to punch Jillian in the face. My level of sore is absolutely astronomical. Please god. Tell me this gets better! My abs and ass better be fucking ripped by the end of 30 days or I may break down and cry. To give you an idea of how hardcore this program is, my husband threw out his back doing his day 3 today. I’m sure Jillian would not be please as she preaches throughout the entire 20 minutes about how to avoid injury.

I may have to fire up the jacuzzi later tonight to soothe my aching muscles! I wonder if it even works…

We are now 3 weeks into the new year and I am struggling with my holiday weight gain and learning some valuable lessons in the process.

For some reason, when I went ballistic over the holidays with my eating, I didn’t think it would be a big deal. 5 pounds? So what! I can lose that in a jiffy. Oh MY GOD. I was so wrong. As a matter of fact, despite my best efforts (seriously), I have even creeped up yet another couple pounds. I have no idea what I’m doing wrong.

It’s not even so much the extra pounds… my clothes still fit okay (not great) and I’ve been working out like mad as I train for my 7K in March. It’s the creeping up of the scale that has me concerned as well as old habits that are creeping back in. I’m a carb junkie. I fucking love bread and sugar- it amazes me the excuses I make with myself to have them.

Issue #1: I have a very difficult time controlling my cravings. While some of my cravings may be physical in nature, 90% of it is mental. Those of you on a weight loss plan or those who have food drama issues- do you ever find yourself having conversations in your head about your choices? Mine go like this:

“Oh, I’m just having one piece of candy, it’s no big deal.”

“I’m going to run like an animal for 45 minutes tonight. I can eat a big lunch.”

“Nobody is looking. Quick. Grab another piece of chocolate!”

What. The. Hell. I have to break this cycle. I have to stop cheating. I have to stop this unhealthy behavior.

Issue #2: Crutches. Medifast is now a crutch. My first instinct when I fell outside of my acceptable weight range was to run back and start the 5 & 1 program again. Yes, they were the catalyst that allowed me to lose an excessive amount of weight and for that I am grateful; however, I cannot keep running back to Medifast because I can’t control my eating outside of their program.

I MUST DO THIS with real food. I must learn how to eat. I must learn how to control what I eat. I must remain in the mindset that this is a lifelong commitment and I must not fall into old habits.

MY HEALTHY RESOLVE

Diet/Nutrition: 
I am a WeightWatchers Online member and I made the decision to make that a part of my healthy living commitment once I reached goal. Overall, it is basically the same concept as Medifast maintenance. But tracking my food can’t just be something I do every once in awhile. I NEED to track every single day. I need to hold myself accountable for what I am putting in my mouth. I have zero self-control so this is a necessary part of my weight maintenance. Let me tell you folks: maintaining my weight has proven to be MUCH HARDER than losing it. I have been working very hard over the last week to pay attention to my hunger cues and recognize when and why I am eating. I have been doing a lot of journaling. My habits have been VERY eye opening.

Exercise: 
While I continue to train for my running adventures in 2013 (currently training for the Get Lucky 7K on March 16 and planning to do the Women Rock 10K in August), it has become apparent that I need to start strength training/toning. My husband and I have been eyeing up the X91 Incline Fitness Trainer from Nordic Track- I cannot even TELL you how much this thing would improve my winter running training!! I have also decided to try the 30 Day Shred to see if that can help buff me up. Yes. I will take before and after pictures!! It’s tough- I sometimes feel very physically wiped out after my runs, so incorporating strength is going to be a challenge. You know what though? I’m proud. Exercise has been a top priority in my life over the last year and I have done a great job of sticking with a regular routine.

Motivation: 
My bestie and I just booked our calendars in July for a grown up girlfriend getaway to the Wisconsin Dells! There will be a pool. I will need to wear a swimsuit. In front of other humans. Motivation enough? I think so.

I am also having a relatively major surgery in the next few months with my impending partial hysterectomy. I need to be healthy so I can recover quickly. I don’t want my recovery to be as long and arduous as the last surgery I had. I can’t tell you how ready I am to get this over with so I can just move on with my life.

Self-Confidence:
Even though I have found a very happy place within myself the last couple months, I found that it takes a lot to keep myself there. I get easily derailed. I have a difficult time trusting myself and others with my very delicate heart. When my confidence gets wounded, I fall off the track (ahem… emotional eating much?). I need to be forward about my needs and expectations with those I am closest. I need to be firm with myself about who I am. I need to rid my life of things that hurt or bring me down. Go back to my old mantra: Give it up when it stops being fun. However, that is much easier said than done as I prefer to put bandaids on things to try and make them better rather than throwing them out altogether (I AM a mom you know!). I have been struggling in this area and it is now time for me to put on my big girl pants and be the best me I can be without the crutch of other people. I’ve got this.

All of this said, I am committed and ready for a healthy 2013!!! Bring it on!!