Mixed Bag Of Rant

Another Easter has come and gone, but this year just felt different. I’m celebrating almost a year of the new “me” at goal weight (or, ahem… close enough to goal). Celebrating a revived marriage.

And oh yes. I celebrated. I celebrated with plenty of food sins. Do I regret it? Maybe a little. I’ve made some progress with my brain in terms of my eating sins. At least I KNOW now after eating like I did all weekend that I will have to make up for it. Did knowing this change my actions? No. But I also know that I can’t continue to eat like crap all the time either. I know better.

Just like everything, the things I can’t have? Not being able to have them makes me want those things more than ever. Food is no different. Not being able to “have” it makes me want to eat it that much more. And when I give in? It’s a rush. I mean what the hell? You heard it here first and I confess… I am addicted to naughty food that I can’t have unless I want to gain back 40 pounds. You know what? I don’t want that weight back on my ass. I’m going to continue to fight.

For the record. I did fail the DietBet. I hope the winners are enjoying my money. LOL. Not that I want to get all TMI or anything on a Monday, but mother nature kinda screwed me on the timing of the weigh in on the DietBet. Sorry, but even the best eating isn’t going to win the battle against that bitch.

Nonetheless. A new day. A new week. I am refreshed. What am I going to do to redeem myself?

1. Track my food. Even though I am following the South Beach Diet (which has actually worked, albeit slowly), I still need to write down what I eat. It’s called. Wait for it. ACCOUNTABILITY.
2. Follow my training plan. I have 27 days until my next 5K- the Get In Gear 5K. I have felt really sluggish lately. I’m sure a lot of it weather related. A lot of it just my own personal demons. I’m going to start committing to once a week runs with the Life Time Fitness Run Club (Let’s face it. I have a kid. If I can make it once a week at 6p, that is a lot). My Lucky Ladies Running Crew is also planning to run together at a minimum of once a month as well. Overall, I have SOMEthing exercise related to do DAILY. If it isn’t running, it is cross training. If it isn’t cross training it is strength training. If it isn’t any of those, I will sit and stretch while watching Y & R on my DVR. I seriously need it to be 50-60 degrees on a daily basis. 
3. Time to do a mini detox/cleanse. I came across Jillian Michael’s [not so] Secret Cleanse Recipe via Pinterest and was intrigued. It sounded a little gross. What I love about it? You don’t have to stop eating. You drink this in addition to your HEALTHY diet (meaning you limit processed foods sugar and alcohol as well as lower your sodium intake). Now, they gimmick this as losing 5 pounds in 7 days. I did it once before after a weekend of heaving boozing and I did lose 3 pounds in 5 days. Yes, all water weight. It’s easy to gain it back. However, when you are feeling as gross as I am after all the weekend sugar and carbs, this really helps to reduce the bloat. 

So here you have it- the Jillian Michael’s Secret Cleanse Recipe: 

• 60 Oz distilled water
• 2 TBS sugar free cranberry juice (not from concentrate)
• 2 dandelion root tea bags
• 4 TBS lemon juice
• mix and drink each day. (sipping through out the day)

You will find other versions of the recipe out on the Interwebz, but this is the formula that worked the best for me (my recipe is doubled with exception to the 60oz of water- that stayed the same. I just added more of the other goods). I was able to find all of the ingredients at Target, but you may need to go to a store like Whole Foods to find the cranberry juice and dandelion root tea. I usually fill a 60oz pitcher with the recipe and then fill one of those big 32 oz Nalgene bottles to bring it to work. I then drink the remainder at night. Please note… this concoction will make you pee all freaking day so be prepared for a lot of potty breaks! 

I have a couple other little secrets that have helped me along the way in terms of kicking the cravings. 

1. I chew sugar-free gum. A lot of gum. Yes, it messes with my TMJ but it’s a sacrifice I make to not stuff food in my mouth. Plus, I have ridiculously fresh, fruity breath. 
2. I polish my nails at night. Not every night, but probably every few days. Sounds like a crazy, tedious chore, right? Well, doing my nails means my hands are busy, I don’t want to mess up my pretty nails by digging into something to eat and the taste of nail polish remover? Disgusting. 
3. The more distractions the better!!!! 
4. One last secret… a supplement from Life Time Fitness called Lean Source. It isn’t some magic pill that makes me lose weight. None of them are. However when combined with a healthy diet and exercise, I am a firm believer that it has enhanced my results. I can definitely tell the difference when I miss a dose. This little tidbit of info on Lean Source is what got me to try it because you know, I’m an old lady: “7-Keto™ supports proper hormonal levels, including balancing thyroid hormone levels, which may be more significant in women over age 30.” and this: “Clarinol™ CLA (conjugated linoleic acid) has been shown to support reductions in body fat while helping to maintain or increase lean body mass.” So yeah. It was worth a try. I like it so far. 

See? No naughty Easter eating is going to bring me down!! You gotta jump right back on that train and keep going. TAKE THAT CHOCOLATE BUNNY! I WIN!!! 

I hope you and your family had a very blessed Easter! 

P.S. Singing vid is coming… Stay tuned my loyal readers! 

The other day as I was heading home from work, I boarded my elevator on the 20th floor. The one thing I always forget to factor into my commute time is the time it takes to ride the elevator to the ground floor. Most days, it is a stop on just about every floor. Packed like sardines. I typically end up next to the person with the horrifically debilitating head cold. I have to factor at least an additional 10 minutes in order to make my 4:11p bus home.

To my amazement, two elevators showed up on our floor at the same time so the 5 of us got to choose which one to ride in. Both elevators got the express ride to the 1st floor with no stops. The guy I rode my elevator with said, “It’s the little things we should always get excited about, right?”

He is SO right.

Then today, I read this. Which led me to this. Then to this. Basically an amazing network of fantastic, strong women vowing to take control of their lives. One of these women in the midst of struggles with her health journey died of heart failure before she turned 30. My heart, oh my heart. So much more proof that all my stumbles along my healthiness journey are worth it. For me. For my family.

I have made it pretty clear that I have had emotional struggles lately. Reading the above posts really puts things back into perspective. It’s time to stop dwelling and start living. Time to stop taking for granted the people and things in my life that I have accomplished.

The Things
I have been so focused over the last month over a few measly pounds. Have I thought for even a second to consider how far I have come? 4.5 years ago when I gave birth to my son, I was topping the scale at 240. I am now 160. How could I not be proud of that? HOW? HOW? HOW? I can call myself an athlete. A runner. I am fit. Healthy. Strong. I am sooooooooooo hard on myself. That needs to stop.

My job. I feel like my corporate pursuits are an endless game of trying to make it to the next rung. The title. Manager. VP. Or whatever I have noodled into my brain what I think I need out of my career. I may not be at the top of the heap, but I have clawed my way enough around the middle to have garnered respect and appreciation from my superiors and colleagues. I am finally in a happy place with my (not so) new job. I’m not even hating the Downtown Mpls life as much anymore. The important word here is balance. I finally found balance in my professional world.

The People
If there is one thing reading those blog posts above reminded me, it is that we should not take the people who matter the most in our lives for granted. You never know when you have to say goodbye. Do you ever want to feel like there were things left unsaid? I know I wouldn’t want that. So I’m making the effort not to let whatever this weird funk that has taken over me (probably just PMS anyway. LOL) take over the happiness that my friends and family give to me every single day.

I mentioned in a previous post that my husband and I have a new renewal in our marriage. For years, we were just floating through the motions. Pretending like we’re all good and that nothing could break us. Now that we have clarity, there hasn’t been a day that has gone by in the last few weeks that we have gone to bed angry- there is always a goodnight kiss and an “I love you.” Since I have to leave early in the morning, I usually left before either my husband or son were awake. I’d sneak out. Not wanting to stir or wake anyone. Little did I know, they were waking up mere minutes after I would walk out the door. So even if it means waking my husband up, I always give him a kiss on the cheek goodbye and remind him that I love him. My child gets to sleep in though. I wouldn’t do THAT to my husband. But I always blow a kiss goodbye towards Jackson’s room. He doesn’t know I do that. Maybe someday I will tell him. I also want my son to know that despite my sadness over my secondary infertility, that HE IS ENOUGH and I would go to the ends of the earth for him. I am so lucky to have him. He is my miracle.

My sweet boy who still cuddles with his mama.

I love watching him play and love his imagination.

I love my guys!

The Little Things. 
I have always loved the Easter season. So much self-reflection, forgiveness and renewal. I feel so moved this year. Different. I intend to make the best out of every single day and every moment. As part of my Christian holiday traditions, my best friend has invited me once again to sing with her band for her church’s contemporary Easter service. She of course gave me the best song for my solo (and when I say “best”, I mean I have no idea how I’m going to sing it without crying). My husband will be recording, so I will be sure and post my version this Easter Sunday.

If you have Spotify, you can listen here:
http://open.spotify.com/track/7j1e730A8K1my1mM4knYmr

“I Will Rise” by Chris Tomlin

I am wishing all of you blessings and happiness with all of the little things in your life. Count every blessing. Live every day with purpose. Remember, you are enough. Most importantly, tell those you care about how much they mean to you.