Mixed Bag Of Rant

It was my sole purpose in life this week to keep a cool head.

There are a number of reasons why this task was not easy.

1. Traveling Husband.
I know this is potentially the first of many travels ahead for my brilliant husband. He is presenting as well as sitting on a couple different panels for a conference in Vegas (a.k.a. pimping himself out). While I can certainly “handle” being a single mom for 5 days, it doesn’t mean I have to like it. No matter how many times he has traveled, it is always the same story for me: I cannot sleep when he’s gone. I’m simply paranoid. About everything. The house. The dog. Not waking up for the kid (even though my side of the bed is the default for Jack to walk up to anyway). While I actually loved the one on one time with my little guy, he is exhausting. To to it all off, I actually miss my husband when he is away.

2. 5K Training 
I am running in the Get In Gear 5K tomorrow. Because of #1 above, my ability to train for tomorrow’s race was pretty limited to my treadmill. The winter storm that hit us 72 some odd hours ago probably would have deterred my training anyway. Running is my escape and it was so hard that I wasn’t able to make it work into my crazy week. I needed it. I craved it. I realized how important it is to me! Given the challenges of my week (see #1 and #3) I expect my race will go one of two ways: I will either crumble with exhaustion and post my worst time ever or (and I like to think it will go this way), I will channel all this crazy frustrated energy into my run and post a personal best.

3. Work Insanity 
If there is one thing I have prided myself on over the course of my professional adventures, it is my integrity. While I haven’t job jumped as many as some, I can pretty honestly say that I have never left a job with bad blood or burned any  bridges. I always made sure that the bulk portion of my job had been completed and I wasn’t leaving the person taking over for me with a giant mess. My colleague, a PM for a multi-million dollar website re-write in which I will eventually take over management of post-launch, up and quit 6 weeks before its launch. Not only were her unfinished piles of work left on my plate, but her last week here has been nothing but open ends and negativity. If there is one thing I do not subscribe to in my professional life, it is talking crap about my colleagues or acting like a petulant child. I am a team player. I get things done. Instead of wasting my time pointing fingers or playing the blame game, I choose to move forward and solve the problem. While she has offered to “help” in her final hours, she seems to be insulted that we are not accepting it. As with all jobs I have ever left, it doesn’t make sense to try and continue working on things when it will leave open ends and essentially more questions. Thus making the two week notice kind of a joke. Let’s face it, when you say you are leaving, what’s the point in having you stick around. Hand your work over to the people who will be taking over, answer any lingering questions and walk away with some dignity and grace.

I rant because the behavior I witnessed this week was nothing short of completely unprofessional and for someone of this caliber, I guess I expected more. She was the first friend I made here and I feel like she dumped me in the deepest part of the ocean and left me to swim with the sharks.

Being the consummate professional that I pride myself to be, I am ranting here on my blog rather than talking shit to my colleagues. I kid you not, I have lost sleep over this situation this week. I am determined to oversee the rest of the project and hopefully come out in the end looking like a shiny diamond.

Moving Forward
To say this week has been a challenge, is putting it mildly. I am exhausted. Crabby. I don’t feel like myself. I am taking things a day at a time. Taking a lot of deep breaths. Remembering that I am a strong, smart and confident woman. Like a mantra, I need to just keep saying to myself over and over:

I got this. 

For years, I despised the coming of the holidays. The family tug-of-war. Where do we go? How many turkey dinners is it possible to have in a single day? Then the baby came along and that actually made the struggle worse as everyone wanted to see him. We tried a joint family holiday (yikes). Not knowing what to buy for presents for family. Not knowing if I should buy presents for co-workers. Shopping for the presents with ten gazillion other people. Procrastinating on the outdoor decorations until there is a blizzard blowing outside (true story). Weight gain. Gah.

I could go on. But…

So Proud Of His Tree

Something magical happened this holiday season. My child is old enough to get caught up on the spirit and I have to say, it is contagious. He loves all of the lights. He loves hearing about Santa (he asked if he could give Santa 3 choices this year). He was excited to learn Christmas songs. He keeps asking when his elf Ernie will show up (we are holding out on Ernie as long as possible… that is another whole blog post though). He helped me decorate the tree and is so proud of his work. How could you not be happy being around him?

This is also his first year of Sunday School and I am so happy that he is enjoying it! Every Sunday after the hubs and I pick up Jack from class we “recap” about what he learned in Sunday School. I just love that he’s learning about the true meaning of Christmas and having it be about more than just presents and Santa. He will be singing in his first ever Christmas program and my family (you know… the same ones that were stressing me out every year?), they will be there in full to support him and I LOVE it!

I will also be singing for Christmas with my best friend this year. I love singing with her on the holidays because it is a reminder of how long we have been friends, of everything we have been through together over the last 15 years, how our love for music always bring us together and especially it is a reminder of how much I truly love Christmas.

Here is a little snippet of my BFF and I singing together this past Easter (shameless plug… she has a Christmas Album that she recorded and I’ll be pimping it out for her next week):

So, forget about the stress. Forget about the stuff that needs to get done. Forget about yourself.

Look for the beauty in the holiday season!

It’s Friday! Time for The Week In Rant!  

1. Favre Wants to Play
2. Wedding Stress
3. You Won’t Let Your Daughter Play With What?

1. FAVRE WANTS TO PLAY
Remember when you were a little kid and you got hurt or sick but you begged and pleaded with your mom and dad to let you out to play anyway? That’s what Brett Favre reminds me of. A silly little kid who is throwing a tantrum and refusing to sit it out and just heal. I know that T-Jack as a backup isn’t the greatest idea in the world, but do we want a broken Favre on the field either?

Do you think Favre should sit this one out?  Do you wish Favre would just go away altogether?

2. WEDDING STRESS
My brother’s wedding is 8 days away. The stress is mounting. My husband and I are bickering. There is no way on God’s green earth that my 2 year old is going to actually stand still to have his picture taken (despite how uber debonair he will look in his little tuxedo), or get down the aisle for that matter. My first, last and ONLY rehearsal with the pianist is tomorrow. I feel ready, but am nervous- it has been years since I sang in front of a live (and BIG) audience like this (no, drunken karaoke doesn’t count). So, I showed up to work today, took a deep breath and decided not to sweat the small stuff. It’s not my day. It’s my brother’s. Despite the lack of communication and coordination of the wedding party logistics (which has really been driving a type-A freak like me insane), I am going to suck it up and go with the flow. No more whining. No more complaining. No more thinking this day has anything to do with me. I expected this much and more when I got married 5 years ago. The least I could do is return the favor without any bitching. 

 Do weddings stress you out? How do you overcome it?

3. YOU WON’T LET YOUR DAUGHTER PLAY WITH WHAT?? 
I’ve talked a little bit about my “friend” who had a baby back in January of this year. The more we talk about our kids and how we are choosing to raise them the more I find us on opposite ends of the parenting spectrum. I’ve said a million times- there is no right way and everyone has to make the best choices for themselves from breastfeeding, to childcare (private home vs daycare center) to crying it out (and the list goes on). She made a comment the other day that floored me. She said, “The day I buy my daughter a toy vacuum cleaner or a kitchen set will be a cold day in hell.” I gave her a confused look and said, “Why?” She responded, “I don’t want her to think that those things are a woman’s job.” To which I snorted (yes, I snorted in my own self-righteous mommy moment) and said, “Well, geez. I hope my son doesn’t grow up thinking he’s a girl because he loves to help mommy and daddy by pretending to vacuum, prepare meals and mow the lawn.” I told her that I picked Jack up from school one day and him and his buddies were “cooking hamburgers”. He held up the little plastic hamburger and said, “Want one mommy?” to which I said, “Oh yes! Delicious Jackson!” Her daughter isn’t even 1 yet and she’s worrying about gender roles. Perhaps she should consider buying her something other than the color pink to wear then.

Do you have any toys that you refuse to let your children play with (other than the ones that are clearly inappropriate for their age)?

Have a fantastic (albeit chilly) weekend- bundle those little ones up! Happy Halloween!