Mixed Bag Of Rant

Like every new year, I start out thinking about all the things I would like to accomplish in the year ahead. I don’t like to think of them as resolutions, but aspirations maybe?

2019 was interesting and ripe with change. Amazing things happened such as winning an industry social media award and welcoming our new puppy Stella to our family. Scary things happened such as having a nanny (yes, when you are as type A as my husband and I… nannies are scary), Mackenzie started Kindergarten (OMG) and Jackson started middle school.

I always feel so motivated at the beginning of the year, but it is hard to put anything tangible together because let’s face it. You just can plan for everything. So while I may have aspirations, I also have forgiveness for myself.

2020 Aspirations

• Continue to advocate for Mackenzie and ensure that she has the same opportunities to do things as any other kid. 
• Be patient with Jackson as he heads into adolescence and is learning how to navigate middle school. 
• Date my husband. Our marriage is in dire need of TLC. 
• Meet my weight loss goal – I started Profile by Sanford in May of last year. I want to reach my goal! Just 15lbs to go! 
• Not just run this year to run, but REALLY train and improve! I started doing Daily Burn 365 and I am confident between that and getting in some gym time I will start seeing some PRs this year. 
• Read one book a month. I know that doesn’t seem like much, but it is considering I maybe read two books all of last year. If I want Jackson to read more, I have to show him that it is enjoyable – I need to be a better role model. 
• BLOG MORE!! I miss writing. I miss sharing. I think it would help me sort out and navigate this crazy life. 
• Spend quality time with friends. 
• Not be afraid to make new friends. Mom life is hard. Feeling awkward among other moms is harder. 
• Work my business. I LOVE my Monat products so why on earth am I so shy about telling the world how amazing they are? 
• Make the church and God a bigger part of my life. I always feel more whole having it in my life.

I had to chuckle when I saw this in my blog post history:

Clearly, I have had many ideas and thoughts but absolutely zero of them have come into fruition to be worthy enough to be published.

My little blog has certainly changed since I started it in 2006, you know, back when I was inspired by the likes of Perez Hilton and didn’t have kids to complain about. It changed from American Idol recaps, to infertility to raising a baby to health and fitness to… nothing? Yikes.

I think that defines this place for me perfectly. A mixed bag of rant. A rant of all the things. This is LIFE. So what does this mean for its future? No more overthinking. No more trying to find a deeper purpose for my blog.

As I sort out my life as a mom, wife, friend, professional and everything else that life is going to choose to spit out at me, I need a place to let it all out. A place to cheer. A place to cry. A place to rant.

You will not find politics of any kind here, so if that is what you are looking for, look somewhere else.

You will find a wife who loves her husband and desperately wants more alone time with him.

You will find the mom of two kids – 1 neurotypical 8 year old with a genius level brain and teenage level behavior and 1 sweet-as-pie special needs 3 year old who has a brain disorder, hemimegalencephaly, who has turned our world upside down in some of the best and worst ways that a human could ever go through.

You will find a friend – or at least a friend who longs for her friends and wishes she had more time for them.

You will find a runner who hits the pavement for the better part of the year for reasons mostly unknown, but will tell herself it is for health & fitness but it is really her escape from reality. Perhaps even a form of punishment and torture?

You will find a working mom who has flip-flopped for 8 years whether or not to continue pursuing her career or being at home with her kids, but somehow continues to pursue the career. Tomorrow she’ll want to be at home with her kids.

You will find a person just trying to pick her way through life. Will you join her?