Category Archive : Medifast

Motivation Monday: Introducing, Me

Riding the Dino Train

My weekend was insane. Between getting up way too early on a Saturday to see some dinosaurs (which Jack LOVED by the way) and going to a little league game that same afternoon followed by a Sunday of sprinklers and swimming, I need a weekend from my weekend! If you are in Minnesota you MUST check out the dinosaur exhibit at the MN Zoo. It is absolutely awesome. We signed up for their Dinos & Donuts preview (paid to go to the exhibit before the Zoo opened to the public). It was so worth it- the line was insane when we left around 10am. Jack got a dinosaur claw necklace and a wristband which he thought were both super cool. We also got free snacks and drinks in the dino village. It was pretty fun and worth the money to see it without the crowds.

I am also beyond stressed out. Awhile ago, I had talked about making the decision to find a new job or become a SAHM. Since finding out that I would be unable to have more kids, I decided that I would continue to pursue my marketing career. While I have seriously enjoyed my current position for the last 5 years, it was time for me to move on. Working for a small company has its advantages, but career advancement is not typically one of them. I have verbally accepted a new job offer and what stresses me out is the limbo- the time between getting the offer, putting in your notice and getting the super official OK from the new company. I’m having those moments of “What if the offer falls through” moments and just trying to take a lot of deep breaths. Changing jobs is both exciting and scary. All you can do is trust your instincts and have faith that everything will work out for the best. More to come as I wait for the A-OK from my new company. Meanwhile, as I clean out my files, I have discovered I am closet hoarder. Why did I keep all this stuff??

I digress. Let’s talk healthiness journey.

Over the weekend, there was no way I was going to be outside in the summer heat without a swimsuit on. I had bought a bikini a couple weeks ago on clearance (thinking if I absolutely hated it, it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I never wore it). I put it on to go to the backyard and play in the kiddie pool with my kiddo, yet I covered up with shorts and a tank. I pulled off my tank and asked my husband, “Are all the neighbors going to think I’m icky wearing this bikini top?” He looked at me as if I were nuts and said, “You’re kidding right? You look fantastic.” So, I did my best to “own” my bikini. I kept my shorts on most of the time but I couldn’t get it out of my head how self-conscious I still am. Regardless of how much weight I have lost or what size I am now wearing, that fat girl on the inside just will not leave me alone. I’m not sure if she ever will. Maybe, that is exactly what I need to keep the weight off for good this time.

This was a big week gang. After last week’s epic 3.5 pound gain, I worked my BUTT off (literally). I lost FIVE POUNDS this week! I am at 152.5 with just 2.5 pounds to my goal of 150!!! I am of course beyond elated and proves that when you work the program, it’ll work for you.

My goals this week:
– Daily workouts with 15 minutes of cardio per day and strength workouts 3x this week (Mon/Wed/Fri).
– STICK TO THE PROGRAM. 2.5 pounds left to lose? I got this.

I’m so excited for all of the exciting new things coming up in my life from my new career opportunity to my crazy skinny new body. So, hello, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Joanne and this is the new me.

What are you doing to stay motivated this week? 

P.S. This is the OLD me from Dec 2011. Found this picture cleaning out my electronic files. Yikes.

I’m in the white shirt on the bottom left.
Thought I should put up a current pic of me.

Motivation Monday: Dare I Say, It’s Working?

On Fit Friday, I talked about commitment. Making a commitment to something isn’t always easy when it requires a massive lifestyle change overhaul. Determining what your key motivator is will lead to success.

One of my top motivations for a healthy lifestyle was to try and treat my endometriosis holistically meaning no hormone treatment and no more surgeries. Estrogen is known to stimulate the growth of endometrial tissue, so reducing estrogen levels is the key. I was told that reducing BMI and getting regular exercise will naturally lower estrogen levels which in turn will help alleviate pain. I have been on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) since my laparoscopy/oophorectomy last August and it has not been fun, so the only way to really know if my weight loss has helped my condition was to stop therapy. Upon discovering that Medifast’s heavy reliance on soy protein in their meals was worsening my endo, my first cycle test was a failure and I was in a world of pain. Being stubborn and persistent, I decided to stay off the hormones for another month to see what would happen. I started seeing my chiropractor and added an antioxidant powder and progesterone cream to my daily vitamin regimen. I continued working out 3-5 days a week and started limiting my Medifast meals to their soy-free products (and there aren’t many to choose from). My TOM was wicked late (day 35… if I was TTC I would’ve taken about 100 pregnancy tests by this point), but shockingly… it hasn’t been horrible. Dare I say… normal? Sure the normal bloating and headaches have been present but the cramping has been normal and not “endo” cramping (if you have endo… you know what I mean). This makes me hopeful. I had been seriously considering a hysterectomy next year and the thought of it, at age 36, makes me sad. A hysterectomy to me means losing my womanhood and intensifying the fact that I am indeed infertile. I don’t want to give in. So, being relatively endo pain free this cycle is a huge victory.

I am so freaking proud of myself for what I have accomplished. There isn’t a single part of this journey that has been easy or fun, but knowing that I may have won the battle over controlling my endo pain through diet and exercise is worth every bit of struggle.

Sadly though, I have reached my Medifast exhaustion. I was supposed to be at goal 2 months ago. Yes, I have made extreme changes to my body (most especially by dropping HRT) and I’m trying to work through it. The truth is, I’ve had small cheats. Nothing big, but a couple beers, a couple cookies, a bun with my hamburger… all of those things throw you out of the fat burning stage of Medifast. You can’t do it on the program, but somehow I have talked myself into believing I can which is what got me here in the first place, so WHY am I doing it??? Ugh. Stupid brain.

My weigh in today… *sigh*. I’m back up 3 pounds this time up to 157.5. WTF. I confess I had some cheats. A bit of alcohol. A bite of chocolate chip banana muffin. But 3.5 pounds worth of cheats??? My counselor kind of shrugged it off. Let’s face it, TOM = water retention = bloat. I wasn’t going to win that epic battle. I’m trying not to let it bother me, but it does. I’m frustrated.

I know I have said it in previous weeks, but my goal this week is to be 100% on plan. NO cheats. No little bites or tastes. No alcohol *cries*. I will drink 80+oz of water a day. This goal is lofty, but I was challenged to get two 15 minute bursts of exercise EVERY day and 3 days of strength training in this week. Surely I can manage two 15 minute bursts of exercise, yes? Perhaps if I actually get up when my alarm goes off…

Based on my stress level on this lovely Monday (yes, sense my sarcasm), these bursts of exercise will probably do me some good in that department.

What are your goals for the week?

Fabulous Fit Friday: Commitment

I took Thursday and Friday off from work last week (which was attached to an automatic Memorial Day holiday day off on Monday). I would recommend to everyone to take time off- especially when you have nothing going on. On Thursday, I went to see my chiropractor (ahhhhh massage and back cracking) and then got a pedicure in the afternoon. The rest of the rainy/stormy day was spent curled up in my recliner catching up on DVR and finishing the ridiculous, poorly written trilogy that is Fifty Shades of Grey.

My Friday was busy. I decided to check out a rare daytime Group Fitness class at Life Time Fitness. I usually take The Mixx class (mix of hi/lo, kickboxing and funk) every other Wednesday night so I figured it was a sure bet that I would enjoy it and get a good workout. It was AWFUL. I am all for instructors motivating their class, but this bitch was a drill sergeant. She was in people’s faces yelling at them to work harder. The music was the loudest I have ever heard at a Group Fitness class and my ears were ringing worse than they did following the Nickelback concert just 36 hours prior. Considering it was a holiday weekend, there were a lot of women like me who showed up on a rare day off and the class was packed. No biggie. If you are an instructor teaching folks you don’t normally teach and not sure of fitness levels, they MUST provide low impact alternatives. She did not do this. I am in fairly good shape now and I could not do half of the drills she was teaching. I left early. I NEVER leave early. I was NOT happy. The rest of the day was better thank god! I got an oil change for my car (which really just meant sitting at Starbucks enjoying a light Mocha Frapp and reading my dirty porn book). I stopped at Target and then the hubs and I went to Cal’s Garden Center to get some new plants for our landscaping project. I was fairly unattached to my technology all weekend and I can’t say I missed it much.

Despite going out to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner TWO nights in a row and admittedly not making the best choices, I was happy to see a 2 pound loss at my weigh in on Tuesday. Granted it was only 2 of the 2.5 that I had gained the week prior… *sigh*. Here’s the deal though. Now that I am within 4.5 pounds of my goal, I am really feeling like it is just a number. I am starting to feel like, what is the big diff? 4.5 pounds won’t lose me another size. It won’t increase my 5K speed. A part of me feels as though I have already succeeded. Talking with my dad the other day about my success, he asked, “So, you must be around 120 lbs then?” Which of course I LOL’d. He was stunned that I was 154.5 lbs and agreed with Medifast that I do not need to go lower than 150. Hey, if my 150 looks like 120 then I’m not complaining!

One of THE BEST parts of my success is inspiring others to choose a healthy lifestyle. No matter which program, from SparkPeople to WeightWatchers, it equates to healthy CHANGE. I have had several people approach me about Medifast and ask me if I like it and if it works. Look at me! It works! Do I think it is for everyone? Nope. I had a colleague say he just wanted to “do it for a month to drop a few pounds before Cancun”. Whereas I shook my head in agony. Medifast is NOT, I repeat, NOT NOT NOT a lose pounds quick plan. It has taken me 5 MONTHS to lose 34 pounds. Granted everyone is different, but sheesh, if you are going to commit to losing weight, do it all the way. I told him not to bother going to a Medfast Center because they will make you commit to the whole journey (which takes 1+ years to complete), not to mention flushing tons of $$$$$ down the drain if you only want to do “a month”. It just doesn’t work that way.

Look, I have been there. I get it. Over the last decade, but more importantly over the last 3 years, I “re-committed” to weight loss a thousand times over. I look at it similarly to smoking- you’ll never be able to quit until you’re truly committed. Thankfully, an ultimatum from my husband (just a mere boyfriend at the time) told me it was cigarettes or him. Well… we can all guess what happened (pssst… I chose him). It was a good incentive. Just like my endo and my son are my main incentives for my weight loss. But is it enough? What is YOUR incentive? There is no wrong answer here, but the bottom line is: you really have to be committed and ready to change your life. Yes, people, that means forever. That means passing up french fries and chips and opting for fruits and veggies instead. It means putting the Totinos pizza aside and spending the time to make a healthy dinner at night. After 5 months on Medifast, this strange thing happened: I am happy to make the smarter choices when I am out because despite what my head is telling me (have the french fries, they are delicious), my tummy is saying something different (WoW! Those grilled vegetables were awesome). Plus, I get to walk away from dinner with zero regrets. 

My weight loss wasn’t magic. I had to work hard for it and make many sacrifices to my lifestyle. I had to get regular exercise AND change my eating habits. I had to recognize that I do not have the ability to eat whatever I want. I had to make real and lasting changes. I wish I could tell you that it was easy. It’s not. You’re going to struggle. You’ll cheat at some point. If you are committed, you’ll get yourself back up. You’ll make food tracking/journaling a daily habit. You’ll workout a minimum of 3 days a week. I hate to tell you that you will hate a lot of this. I still do. There is a light at the end of the tunnel of hard work. You’ll be able to shop wherever you want. Feel confident. Have more energy. Not worry about fitting into the seats at Target Field. Your significant other will take more notice. Random strangers will take notice (so weird…) and a million other things that make the hard work worth it.  

I freaking love the new me and I am NEVER giving her up. I am committed for a lifetime.

Motivation Monday: Carry On

As expected, I did not have a good weigh in today. Not only was it weigh in day, but it was body scan day. Feeling very bloated for the last few days, no thanks to my body’s ever changing cycle confusion, I showed a gain of 2.5. After my huge 3 pound loss last week and getting SO, so close to goal this was a major setback in my book. This frustrates me to no end.

However… there is a bright side. My counselor did chalk it up to water weight/retention. I have had that bloated/gassy feeling the past 3 days (related to my girl parts). Even my body scan showed an increase in water. So with that said, we moved on and talked about the excellent parts of my scan. The one that showed me down 2 pounds since my last scan 3 weeks ago. We also cheered the 2 pounds in additional muscle that I gained. My husband will not be as thrilled but I am down another inch in my chest (I’ve never had small boobs… this is so weird to feel compelled to buy a push up bra), a half inch off my waist and another half inch off my hips. Since starting Medifast, I have lost 18 inches from my body, probably closer to 25 inches since I started my journey a year and a half ago. That is a lot and it is something to be proud of.

What is the lesson for today? Don’t despair and carry on. I’m doing everything right.

I’m excited to have a short work week and intend to make the best of my time off. This week’s goals:
1) WATER WATER WATER. 100oz a day minimum to try and get rid of this bloat. (If you have other suggestions, I’m all ears)
2) Workouts for the week:
     Tuesday Night: Cardio & Full Body Resistance
     Thursday Morning: Cardio & Full Body Resistance
     Friday Morning: The Mixx- Group Fitness
     Saturday Morning: Step- Group Fitness
3) My biggest challenge day is Wednesday as I will be going to the Nickelback concert and will be limited on time to eat. I intend to make solid choices although they may be slightly off plan. I will not stray from the plan the rest of the week. I WILL NOT CHEAT!!

My counselor hit the nail on the head when she said, the closer to goal you get, the harder it is to stay on plan. The most important thing I can do right now to get to that all important 150 pound mark is to stick to and trust the plan. The only thing getting in the way is me. Today alone has required an insane amount of self-motivation to not stray despite the temptations that lurk everywhere in an office environment.

I’m ready to get to goal. Let’s do this thing.

What are your goals for the week? How do you stay motivated to keep them?

Wordful Wednesday: Becoming Me

Exhausted and half asleep, I went to my weigh in on Monday feeling confident.

Little did I know, I was down an astounding 3 pounds. Weighing in at 154, I am just 4 pounds from my goal.


Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would see the 150’s again. It is even a little hilarious that I am still considered “overweight” according to the BMI charts. Someone at work actually told me I was looking too thin. I’ve never heard anyone say THAT to me before.  I know for many of my co-workers, the new me is very different from the obese girl they have known for the last 5 years. I just say, I am becoming me. The me I am supposed to be.

Celebrating Mother’s Day: 

My sweet Godson, Connor
Snuggles With Connor

 For the first time ever on Mother’s Day, I was willing to smile for the camera as I snuggled with my baby nephew. I was wearing a pair of low rise jeans from Express (which by the way I haven’t been able to wear Express jeans for over a decade and I actually got teary-eyed in the dressing room trying them on) and a black angel sleeve Gap tee with a satin ribbon around my now tiny waist. The entire day I felt like a pretty mommy. I also brought all of my too large clothes for the women in my family to sift through. An important decision I made in my journey was to give away or consign all of my clothing. I figure psychologically, if I don’t have my large sizes around, I’ll never be compelled to stray from my goal weight again. The best part of my Mother’s Day was going to see my favorite band Daughtry at a small club in Minneapolis. I was dolled up from head to toe. Still wearing my low rise jeans but now with a sparkly tank with hair and makeup to perfection, I felt like a very hot mama. I felt confident. Sexy. Amazing. I am becoming me.

Jackson adores his cousin.

Being so close to goal, my counselor this week encouraged me to start mentally prepping for my transition out of Medifast. With an excited smile, I told her I have been prepping for transition for WEEKS. With my recent discovery of how bad soy protein is for my endo, it is important for me to wrap this diet up so I can start focusing on what “real” food I will need to start eating to control my condition. The first week on transition I will get to add in veggies that were previous not allowed on the plan, when she asked me what I plan to add in I exclaimed, “CORN ON THE COB”. Yum. My husband is excited.

My mom w/ her grandbabies

It is very important for me to remember that the journey doesn’t end simply because Medifast ends. I will have to continue watching my portions, making smart choices and exercising. I’m certain I will not always be perfect. I want to show everyone who made negative comments about Medifast and my weight loss that I can lose the weight and keep it off. Yes, someone told me I shouldn’t bother because I will gain it all back. Nice, huh? I think it was meant to be a dig on the Medifast program, but in a lot of ways, it was a dig on me. What does that say about me? My weight gain didn’t happen overnight. It happened over a DECADE. I will never let that happen again. I don’t want to spend the money to lose weight again. I don’t want to eat Medifast food ever again (no offense Medifast… I love you but I really miss human food).

I have become me and I’m never letting her go.

Motivation Monday: Choose Happy

Yup. It’s my birthday week. I can run (and I have) but I can’t hide. So this week, I’m going to choose happy.

I confess. I’ve been a bit of a negative nelly. Between job interviews and life in general, frankly my outlook has sucked. When a couple friends blew off my birthday dinner, instead of looking at the bright side I bitched and moaned about it. I was heading out to the restaurant with my two dearest friends and I realized that, “I’M HEADING OUT TO THE RESTAURANT WITH MY TWO DEAREST FRIENDS.” What more could I want? It was a wonderful night and I had so much fun catching up with my ladies. I chose happy.

While there was nothing I could do about my exhaustion yesterday (coming home at 2:30am will do that to a mama), I didn’t complain about it. I had a great day with my family at the Zoo and even got some preschooler cuddle time which happens so rarely nowadays. Worried about how many horrific choices I was going to make at Burger Jones last night, I stuck to my plan and ordered their Tiny Tummy Tatanka (buffalo burger) and side field greens salad with balsamic vinaigrette and splurged a little on a beer and just a taste of their excellent fries. I feel good about my choices. I chose happy.

Today was my InBody scan at Medifast. Let’s face it. I drank much more alcohol than usual over the weekend. I am plagued with woman issues today. I was pretty sure it wasn’t going to be a good scan. Negative nelly strikes again. Hanging my head, I walked in to my weekly weigh in and to my surprise:

TODAY’S WEIGH IN: 157.9 (7.9 left until goal!)
I lost 1.1 pounds for a total of 30.4 pounds lost since January
I’ve lost a total of 50.4 pounds since January 2011. 
I gained 2 lbs of muscle in the last month (this is a good thing and explains slow scale movement)
My BMI has gone from a 32.3 down to 27
My PBF (Percentage of Body Fat) has gone from 38.5 to 28
I have lost 4 inches for a total of 16 since January 
I am 12.1 pounds UNDER what my driver’s license says (a first in my lifetime)
I have been struggling with how slow the weight has been coming off because I’m almost to my goal and I am more than ready to be done eating Medifast meals. As much as I hate dwelling on the scale number, graduating from Medifast means having to reach my goal weight. I have been frustrated. Going through today’s scan I got a different perspective. There has been progress in other ways that I have ignored: I gained muscle and I lost inches (3 of the 4 inches I lost came from my abs!). As my counselor said today, “Great job. You should be proud.” Of course I need to be continually conscious of my food choices and I can’t let up on my activity- with that in my arsenal, I will make 150 lbs. I am CHOOSING happy.
My goal this week is to stay entirely on plan. No cheats this week. None. I am also going to get back into the gym to do my workouts. There is something energizing and motivating about being amongst other people working out and I think it will help me to keep my fitness on track.
Time to catch myself in the act of negativity and squash it before it even starts. So my biggest goal this week: 
How are you choosing to stay motivated this week?

Motivation Monday: Winning The Race

I read a blog post last week that hit home with me. Especially for those of us who are in a weight loss program, our success is tied pretty heavily (no pun intended) to the scale. On Weight Watchers, you aren’t considered a Lifetime member until you make your goal weight and maintain it. On Medifast, you can’t stop eating their damn food until you make your goal weight. It makes it hard to celebrate those important NSV’s.

Her blog post was about buying the dress in the window. The dress in the window that fit. If you have every been overweight, you understand what a victory that is. It was a reminder to me of how far I’ve come and how I should be celebrating all of my NSV’s rather than dwelling on the number on the scale. I am a healthy me now and it is time to embrace it.

This past Friday, I ran in the Earth Day 5K with approximately 1,600 other runners including one of my closest friends. No, of course I didn’t win the race, but I proved to myself that hard work pays off. After months of training, my goal was initially to finish the 5K in 35 minutes. Last Friday as I started getting nervous about failing that goal, I decided that if I ran the entire race without walking, it would be a victory regardless of my finishing time.

Not only did I run the entire race from start to finish (and I swear to you my legs are still feeling the agony today), but I ran it in a time of 33:46 (chip time). Did I get emotional? Yup. I killed that race. I owned that race. It was amazing.

The final stretch
Crossing the finish line (that time is gun time… takes a couple minutes to get through the starting line)

One of the most startling things to me in my weight loss journey is not realizing how different I look now. How is it possible that I look in the mirror and still see the same 208 lb girl staring back at me??

I have changed. These pictures are proof:

The first of many before & after photos to come. The left is me at 194 lbs, the right is me at 159 lbs.

Pre-Race Festivities
Signing the Runners Wall
Post-Race Glow. We did it!

From running a great time to hanging with my good friend, the night was simply awesome.

Celebrate your victories. Even the smallest ones.

How are you going to be motivated this week?

Motivation Monday: Make It A Great Week

I know, I know… if you are in Minnesota, you looked outside the window this morning and saw fricking snowflakes. What the what? And here I am telling you to make it a great week?

That’s right! No more Debbie Downer. No more Negative Nelly. My husband teased me the other day about my negative attitude lately. I didn’t even realize how negative my thoughts and words were becoming. I’m kicking Debbie and Nelly to the curb. 

I’m going to make it a great week. 

Last night as we were watching the storms roll in and the rain pour down, my 3.5 year old was so sad. He said, “Oh man. Now I’ll never get to play outside again.” My husband told him that there might be snow on the ground when he wakes up. Jack’s eyes lit up and speaking very fast he said, “So we can go get a sled and go sledding? YAY!” Not wanting to ruin his enthusiasm, we told him if there was a lot of snow on the ground, we would go sledding. Who am I to take that twinkle out of his eye?

So yes, the weather is crap, but remember, this is Minnesota. It could be 70 degrees and sunny by the end of the week.

Look on the bright side. Make it a great week. 

I am happy to say that I lost 2 pounds this week after a lot of hard work. When you cheat as I did so gloriously on Easter Sunday, it is so hard to get back on that wagon and last week I worked hard to stay completely on plan. I am also happy to report that I finally broke the 160 pound mark (barely) at 159.5 lbs, I am just 9.5 pounds to goal. Single digits. Surreal. No lie, I never thought I would make it this close. I just didn’t think it was possible. That light at the end of the tunnel is shining brighter than I ever imagined.

Last Year’s 5K- 194 lbs

It is race week for me- I am running the Earth Day 5K in St. Cloud, MN with a good friend this Friday evening. Not only am I excited to spend time with her and her family, I have been working towards this goal for a long time and am excited to see how I’ll do. I am even more excited that my husband and son will be at the finish line cheering me on (it rained last year so he had the little one in the car most of the time- I literally crossed the finish line and jumped into the car). It means everything to me to have my husband’s support- I have worked insanely hard for this and NEED him at my side. The picture here is from the 5K I ran last May. Yes, I will post new ones after Friday’s race so you’ll get a little sneak peak at some pretty crazy before and after of my Medifast body transformation. After this race, I will be taking time off from the running craze. My Medifast counselor (also a personal trainer) told me that to finish my weight loss, I am going to need to start doing some cross training as the running is burning calories, but not burning fat so we need to switch it up and “trick” my body a little bit. I am actually excited about it. As much as I have enjoyed running, especially since there is always a specific goal (i.e. run faster, build endurance), I have found myself dreading it a little bit and that is no good for me in the long term so it is most definitely time to make a change. Since I am quite close to goal, it is time to start planning for my transition and maintenance. During transition I’ll still be mostly eating Medifast but adding in things like dairy, fruits and whole grains. Maintenance is the challenge. Going back to real food I plan to track using (which also has a pretty dope iPad/iPhone app). In order to maintain, I will need to track for the rest of my life. Seriously. Sounds crazy but there is NO WAY I am going to regain the weight. Not this time.

Medifast has asked me to write a testimonial about my experience and I am THRILLED to do so. Look for my testimonial post to come in the next few weeks as I close in on my goal weight.

Another motivator (and major adrenaline rush) for me this week is that I have a job interview for a GREAT opportunity that is a perfect fit for my skills and aligns with my overall career goals. I am really fired up about it and positive that this is the one I will get. No Debbie Downer Negative Nelly self-deprecating talk here. This is mine for the taking. Send me your positive vibes so I can ROCK this interview and start a new chapter in my life. The timing is quite perfect don’t you think?

I feel motivated. Powerful. BRING IT ON!

How are you going to make it a great week?

Fabulous Fit Friday: I Am A Fat Girl No More

I have lost 50 pounds (more if you want to count the 35 I gained during pregnancy), am 4 sizes smaller and up until last night, I hadn’t had that “I have changed” epiphany. I felt like the same person. Still the fat girl, accepting of her fate to always be the plus size bigger girl who was always hiding. Hiding behind clothing. Hiding from a justly deserved career. Hiding from life.

When I started Weight Watchers nearly a year and a half ago, at one of our meetings we did an exercise where we would visualize and imagine what it would be like at goal. I remember writing things down like being able to wear fabulous clothing, wear a swimsuit without fear, running faster and simply looking beautiful.

How can I be 8 pounds from goal and not have noticed these things??? People keep telling me I look incredible but I find it so hard to believe! Why did everyone else see it and not me?

My epiphany begins here: 
A few days ago, my husband was perusing some pictures he took at Christmas (yes, the Christmas that was just 4 months ago). He prompted me to come in his office, saying that I had to check something out. Up on his screen was a photo of me with my baby niece. I did a little bit of a double take. Was that me? The chubby face? And to think at that point I was down 20 lbs from Weight Watchers. Last night, my husband came home from work a little later than usual. I was already in my running outfit and he said, “You look awesome.” Maybe all along, this was all I needed to hear from the most important person in my life.

I went on my run, which I had been dreading for some reason, but a half mile in I just felt… awesome. I felt strong. Beautiful. Fast. I completed 3.1 miles in my fastest time to date.

In all my sweaty glory, I went to clean up and really LOOKED at myself in the mirror. All those things I dreamed about? They are now my reality! How could I not see that?

So today, instead of agonizing over what to wear as I have done for so many years, I proudly pulled on my William Rast skinny jeans, my too big company logo dress shirt with a belt cinched around my newly discovered skinnified waist and pronounced to myself and the rest of the world:


P.S. When I officially reach my goal weight I will post before and after picture. Soon my friends, SOON! 

Motivation Monday: I Cheated and I Know It

I confess. I cheated on my diet.

For the first time since I started Medifast in January, I openly and blatantly cheated on the plan for Easter Sunday. It wasn’t because I couldn’t take it any longer. It wasn’t because the temptation was just too great for me to resist. I woke up and made the decision not to eat on Medifast just for one day. I woke up and decided that I wanted to eat the same meal as my family. I just wanted to eat foods that I enjoy.

Much like Easter represents, I wanted to renew my relationship with food and just press reset. It could have been worse, I suppose. I ate 3 of my 5 Medifast meals and had just small portions of ham, pasta salad and potatoes. I skipped the buns and had a serving of asparagus. I did have a 1/4 cup of ice cream for dessert and admittedly a few glorious pieces of chocolate.

I have ZERO regrets. Frankly, anyone who tells you they don’t miss “that stuff” (i.e. chocolate, potatoes, etc etc etc) is lying. My stomach is different now. I can’t eat nearly as much as I used to which will help when I step on that scale today but boy oh boy, did I enjoy it.

I’m supposed to have been at goal today and I didn’t even remotely make it. I have 10.5 to go and I am fairly certain it is going to be a tough road to get there (my .5 gain today is not helping the situation). My body is definitely not wanting to let go of these last pounds.

Despite my lashing for missing my water goals and my day of cheat, we are looking to the future. My weight loss counselor and I focused on the positive: I am just 10.5 pounds to my goal, I am getting compliments galore and let’s face it, I feel great. Nonetheless, goals must be set for the week to come:

  1. STAY ON PLAN. The program works, but I have to work the program. 
  2. Shake it up with my lean and green. I am actually going to try shrimp and mahi mahi this week. FYI: I have always disliked seafood so if this is good, it will be a victory. 
  3. WATER WATER WATER. 120oz (minimum) for the next few days and then I can drop back to my regular 60-80oz.

My Earth Day 5K race is NEXT FRIDAY. I can’t believe it is almost here and that it has been almost a year since my last race. While I plan to continue running, I promised my weight loss counselor that I would start bringing in other forms of cardio into my program to kind of “shake up” my routine in hopes that it will help shed these last stubborn pounds.

It goes without saying… I am very ready to be done with Medifast. Yes, it worked. I will tell the world how awesome it works. I have so much respect for those who are on it for 6 months or more. It takes so much self-motivation and persistence to remain loyal to the program. It gets old after awhile no matter how much you try to change it up. You start to miss having more “normal” meals like cereal or a low-fat Subway sandwich and especially yogurt. Not that I intend to fall off the wagon when this is over- I intend to make smart choices; however, I just want to get back to real life. Or, rather, I’m ready to get started with my new life.

What are YOUR goals for this week?