Mixed Bag Of Rant

After 4+ months of pretty hard core training and a potentially running-career ending injury, I did it.

I finished a Half Marathon.

As of July 25, a week prior to the race, I ran 8 miles and felt pretty amazing. My pace was fantastic. I felt strong. Unstoppable.

After that day, I noticed that my hip was sore. Okay. Aches and pains. Kind of par for the course when you’re pushing the amount of mileage I had been doing over the last month. On Wednesday, I went out for what was to be a 3-4 mile relaxed run. Again, I felt good. The hip was a little sore, but nothing I couldn’t run through. I was running at a great pace until at mile 2, I felt a sharp pain soar through my hip, down my leg and through my back. It felt like someone knifed me and it stopped me in my tracks. After several failed attempts to try and run again, I limped the remaining 1.7 miles back home.

Much to my dismay, my husband’s response was, “Don’t start making excuses to not do the race on Saturday.” Are you fucking kidding me? Excuses? 4+ months of busting my ass, getting up before dawn to make an excuse at the last minute? I don’t think so. Upon seeing my face with that comment he quickly backpedaled as I entered into freak out mode. The next day, I called my PCP first thing in the morning to be seen by a doctor. They assumed Bursitis and referred me to the walk-in urgent care at Twin Cities Orthopedics. I was thinking, oh great, I am going to end up being here all day. To my surprise, I was seen almost immediately by their sports doctor, quickly got into an X-ray to ensure that I didn’t have a stress fracture and got a diagnosis of: Hip Tendonitis of the IT Band at Point of Insertion (blah blah blah… I have tendonitis in my hip from all my crazy running). My options were:

A) Skip the race and start rehab/cross-training. Take pain meds for any immediate pain relief.
B) Go for the hail mary and get a cortisone shot to the hip. Oh and by the way, the worst case scenario is that the tendon will rip and you will need surgery to re-attach it.

Not running this race was not an option for me. I worked too hard and for too long to give up – I got the shot.

As the next two days went on I started to worry. The hip was feeling better but not great and I knew it would be a game day decision.

Little did I know it would end up being a starting-line decision. There is one thing I do that I’m sure annoys faster runners, but I always start out in a faster pace group than I should. It motivates me to get out of the gate at a good clip – and the truth is, even if I fall apart faster, having a solid 10k is critical for me in finishing with a decent time.

I was sore at first, but quickly got into my groove. At about mile 5 the song “Fight Song” by Rachel Platten came on. This song is my MANTRA for this year’s running season. I actually got a little emotional when it came on my playlist. It was at this point that I knew I would go the distance. At around mile 9 I really started to fizzle. Beyond the pain, it was hot out and there was little relief from the sun along this course. I was sunburned. Dehydrated. I had to push away the voices telling me to quit. Towards the end, I was keeping pace with two ladies who were struggling. They were doing run/walk segments of about 30 seconds on 1 minute off. They invited me to join them and we trudged through the last 3 miles together.

I could see the finish line a quarter of a mile ahead and that is when I saw my best running friend standing there with my sweet little boy cheering me on. I finished my first ever Half Marathon with my best guy – he crossed the finish line with me and it was the best thing ever.

My running team greeted me when I got my medal and the first words out of my mouth were, “I never, ever want to do that again.” My finishing time was atrocious (as in, I was that close to coming in very last). However, that doesn’t matter. Embarrassed as I am to admit how poor my time was, I am proud to have even finished. It was a downright miracle. It would have been so easy to quit, but I didn’t.

Me & Nordy

My amazing running team – Sole Sisters Running Crew

A lot of my friends and colleagues asked me why I felt the need to do this. I think I needed to prove to myself that the possibility existed and that yes, everybody is capable of accomplishing amazing things when you put your mind to it.

The reality is, I am injured in a way that will likely haunt me for distance running going forward. While my hip is in need of therapy and rehab, my time and attention really needs to be on my daughter. My hip can wait.

I still have two major races left this year: the Women Rock Starlet Challenge and the TC 10 Mile. While I don’t want to let anyone down, I need to be realistic in what my body will allow me to do. If I don’t listen to it, I may never be able to run again.

I’m ridiculously proud of what I accomplished on Saturday and definitely have the battle scars to prove it. Not only did I run this for myself, but I raised money for an amazing cause (and if you haven’t donated, you still can!). Despite some of the agony- it was so worth it to do this for the kids. My pain is nothing compared to what they are going through.

With that, I leave you with, “Fight Song“
Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion

And all those things I didn’t say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me

Losing friends and I’m chasing sleep
Everybody’s worried about me
In too deep
Say I’m in too deep (in too deep)
And it’s been two years
I miss my home
But there’s a fire burning in my bones
Still believe
Yeah, I still believe

I have less than 3 weeks until the Minnesota Half Marathon/RBC Race for the Kids and I’m starting to get nervous.

I encountered a few setbacks over the last week with my training.

Setback 1: Canadian Wildfires. 
You heard that right. The wildfires caused some problems here in Minnesota last Monday. The smoke was thick as was the smell – akin something to the tune of burnt plastic. Air quality warnings were up everywhere and those in “sensitive” categories were likely to experience issues. Although not in a “sensitive” category myself, going out to run 5 miles in the smoky haze was probably not the best plan. However, I did it. At about the 3rd mile, my chest had a strange burning sensation so I dialed it back a bit for the last 2 miles. Ha. Take that wildfires.

Setback 2: Blood Donation
For the past 3 years at my job (not counting the year I was pregnant and on maternity leave), I sign up to donate blood at the blood drive here in my office. Seems like a relatively simple thing I can do with my universal blood type to do some good. Save a life. Last Tuesday, I donated my blood. They told me no vigorous exercise for 24-48 hours. Of course I shrugged it off. I didn’t run that night, but I did run the next day. Guess what? I should have heeded their advice. Barely two miles into my 5 mile run, I started feeling incredibly ill – dizzy, short of breath, heart racing, nausea. For the first time ever, I thought I might have to call someone to get me home. I took a breather and continued on with walking – I cut my run short at 3.7 miles. In fear of making this situation worse, I took the following night off. Friday night I had plans so no running. Saturday I decided not to run in lieu of my long run planned for Sunday. As I hit up the Google for more information on donating blood while training for a half marathon, I came across a LOT of information. What did I find? That everyone reacts differently when donating blood. Some bounce back immediately where others will encounter decreased performance for weeks. WEEKS??? I’m trying desperately not to let my mind tell me that this is my reason for my performance issues so I’m going to continue to follow my training plan for the next 2.5 weeks and pray that things start to get better.

Setback 3: Mother Nature
I’m not going to get all TMI on you all here, but personal mother nature decided to pay me a visit early. I know women don’t like to talk about this business – but aunt flo shuts me down. As an endometriosis sufferer, I endure a lot of pain at her hand and despite all attempts to ignore her, I usually lose that battle. Nonetheless, on the hottest day of the year yesterday, I embarked on my long run with my two teammates starting at the beautiful Hidden Falls Regional Park in St. Paul along the Mississippi River. 12 miles was the goal. At mile 6, I called it and knew there was no way I would be able to make it that far. If I learned anything from Setback 2, it is that you must listen to your body. You must slow down if you don’t feel good or something isn’t right. I survived 9.1 miles which, you know, hey, it is not a anything to shrug off. Still… I felt like a failure.

I wasn’t sure what this structure was at Hidden Falls Regional Park, but I do know that after running 9.1 miles it was fantastically cold to sit down on.

Will I ever run another Half after all of this? I want the dorky 13.1 sticker. I want to cross it off my bucket list. I confessed to my teammates that after this year, I will not run another distance greater than a 10k. I want to get back to a place where running is fun. If I’m being honest – this is not fun. I am hurting. I am tired. I feel like I don’t have time for anything else. I miss going to Zumba and group fitness classes. Heck, I even miss just getting on an elliptical. All this energy and training focused around JUST this one thing is just sucking all the life out of me and I’m over it.

However… I’m not done after this. While 13.1 will be all but a memory after August 1st I still have 2 major distances to tackle yet this season:

August 28 – 29: Women Rock Starlet Challenge – The great thing about this challenge is that it splits up a bunch of miles into 2 days. Friday night is a 2.5k, Saturday morning is a 10k, a 45 minute break (give or take) followed by the 5k. 4 medals, a necklace and a whole shitload of swag. It’s a lot of running in a short time, but I think I’ve got this one and I’m looking forward to it.

September 12: Mill City Suds Run – Finally a fun run! I’m looking forward to kicking out a 5k, grabbing a quick beer and getting home to celebrate my son’s 7th birthday and still be able to walk! Score!

October 4: TC 10 Mile – This is the one race that is a maybe for me – and only because I have entered into a lottery for the chance to run. Two of my teammates and I signed up for the lottery as a team, so we are hoping (well… kind of hoping) that it buys us into the race. Again, kind of a check off on the bucket list to be a part of the TC Marathon Weekend which is a huge deal for runners in my hood. FYI – the lottery for this race closes THIS FRIDAY!!! If you want to do this and need a team to run with – go ahead and choose “Sole Sisters Running Crew” from the team dropdown in your registration and I will welcome you with open arms!

I’m far from giving up on this goal – I will conquer 13.1 miles!

In all my frenzy over Mackenzie’s issues this year, I haven’t gotten much of a chance to talk about one of my biggest running goals and challenges to date:

Running my first half marathon.

I am now more than halfway through my training program (I am using the Nike+ App Coach) and am about to head into my peak week. That means, my short runs are about 5 miles and my long runs are reaching the 11-13 mile range.

It is beast. It is hard. Sometimes, it even seems impossible.

My colleagues poked some fun at me when I told them that I share my runs and training via social media. I got the “Oh really Jo, you are that person? The person who shares their workouts?”

Yup. I am THAT person. I am keenly aware that there are people out there who are annoyed by this. I don’t post it to show off (I don’t even post my pace… which is still embarrassingly slow in my mind). There are a handful of people who always, ALWAYS hit the like button on my post. And when they hit the like button and I am out on my run? My Nike app sends a cheer to me. Getting a cheer at mile 9 when I feel like I want to die and crawl back home is about the BEST thing ever. So go ahead and be annoyed, but to those who are supporting me and cheering me on… THANK YOU.

There are many times when I admit that I might have bitten off more than I can chew. The training is rigorous and you cannot let up on it (unless you want to be injured, unable to walk for a week or in extreme measures DIE after the actual race). At this point, I am tired. I am sore. Most nights it takes every ounce of motivation to get me out the door and run for an hour or more. And my long runs? I honestly dread them and the mental anguish I have to put myself through to do them.

Yet despite the naysayer in my head, I am determined to do this.

Thankfully, I am not doing this alone. Two others from my running group are also running the half marathon with me – and for us of us this is our first. Words cannot express how grateful I am for their support and for keeping me going. I honestly don’t think I would do it if I had to do it alone.

Kathy – My Sole Sister

Then there is the question of WHY.

This, my friends, is a very good question.

The answer is two-fold:
1) For me. I’m not trying to prove anything to anyone but myself. I want to know that I can set a goal and keep it. For months, I have been starting and quitting Beachbody and DailyBurn programs, but I have not yet quit running. It is my time. Time out of the house. Time to exercise. Sweat. Work out daily frustration. Enjoy the beautiful Minnesota summer. I want to prove to myself that at nearly 40 years old, my body is capable of doing amazing things.

2) For charity. The half marathon I am running is the Minnesota Half Marathon – RBC Race for the Kids. I have run a lot of races in my short running career, and all my high cost fees usually go to charity, but this is one that I truly take to heart. The charity is Ronald McDonald House. Ronald McDonald House Charities, Upper Midwest provides a home-away-from-home for families with children facing critical medical crisis.  They are founded on the belief that a child and family heal best when they are together. I am a mom. My daughter has special needs and my family could very well need these services someday. I want to know they are available not only to me, but other families who want to stay together when their kids are critically ill.

With that said, I am passionate about this cause and about running. So much so, that I am fundraising for the cause. Will you consider a donation? Even $5 will help me in reaching my fundraising goals. More importantly. Do it for the kids!!

http://rbc.kintera.org/raceforthekids/joannekoenig

Those of you who know me know that I never do this kind of thing, so I am hoping JUST THIS ONCE you will consider helping me in raising money for a really great cause.

I promise to start blogging on the regular too and keep you all posted on my journey to the Half as well as my sweet Mackenzie’s progress.

Mackenzie – 18 months

I have had a busy and not so great start to 2015.

I was feeling as if I was finally getting on top of everything on my must-do list:

• I signed up for the MN Running Series and was ready to start training. 
• Got my kids back to being healthy after a rocky December.
• Chopped my email down to under 3,000 in my Inbox (believe me… even that was a stretch). 
• Writing this blog. 

Then I got hit with the flu the beginning of January. Honestly folks, it is no joke. I didn’t physically leave my bed for 4 days. When you are a full-time working mom – it is detrimental to life as you know it. My husband quarantined me nearly the entire time which was lovely for about 2 hours and then all I wanted to do was to hug and kiss my babies. I was too sick to work – so saying I was “working from home” wasn’t an option. It hurt to move. I couldn’t breathe. I mean, honestly, after getting the flu, I can understand why people die from it. I am thankful for Tamiflu which got me back to the land of the living, but I was then plagued shortly after with my 2nd sinus infection of the season which subsequently NEVER went away. After a month of misery, I crawled back to the doctor and begged for something, ANYthing that would ease my aching sinuses. I now seem to be on the tail end of this illness season of horror. I might have even become one of those freaks that applies hand sanitizer to avoid getting hit with any of this nastiness again.

Of course, now that I am on the path back to wellness, my oldest decides that this should happen:

Yes, he broke his arm on the playground at school. The worst part isn’t even the pain of it for him- it is the fact that he broke his DOMINANT arm. I totally feel his pain with that struggle. If I didn’t have access to use my right hand as normal, I would flounder as well. To be 6 and struggling? My heart just breaks for him. We are doing our best to help him, but also need him to learn how to make the best of it. I told him his left hand/arm were going to have superhero powers once his cast comes off in 6 weeks.

Thankfully, my sassy 14 month old has been on a healthy streak. She even decided to start sleeping through the night again (thank god). Her other developmental concerns (particularly as it relates to standing and walking) are being tabled for a month while we bask in the glow of having a healthy, happy baby. Did I mention she is ridiculously adorable? Being the ultimate daddy’s girl, every once in awhile, she cuddles with me so I had to capture the moment. And to answer your question… yes, it drives me crazy that my baby wants nothing to do with her mama most of the time.

As for my wellness quest, I’ve succumbed to the Medifast life again. Only this time, I am back to weekly weigh ins at the center. I am not discounting anything I accomplished over the last year by any means. I lost 50 pounds without anybody asking or telling me to step on the scale, but I have been stuck at the same plateau for nearly 5 months now. I have half a closet of clothes that I can’t fit into since before I got preggers with Mackenzie and I want my wardrobe back. The program is definitely harder when you don’t have as much to lose. It’s also harder when life happens. Between weekly Monday team meeting scones, happy hours and travel for work not to mention a busy, active family it will be a challenge for me to lose 20 pounds in 10 weeks. However, as I learned the first time I successfully completed the program, 10 weeks is a small blip in time to have to make a few sacrifices. The first couple weeks of the program were a difficult transition for me – I only lost 4 pounds which is nothing to sneeze at, but I honestly thought I’d see better results from the start. I’m still on track, but it’s time to settle in. 16 pounds to go. No more excuses.

It’s also time to start training. My first race, the Hot Dash 5k is less than a month away and I haven’t ran in… a really long time. My running partner and I decided to do this first race in an effort to light a fire under our asses to start training again. It’s amazing how having to be away from it (illness… winter…) has absolutely killed my motivation. Pretty sure this first race will be a rude awakening to the work I have ahead of me to get back into race shape.

With all of this said, I have accepted the inevitable:

• My entire family will get sick or injured every winter and it’s time I learn how to cope.
• I never, ever want to do another weight lost program again once I am able to button my old pants. 
• Starting over with running training sucks. 

2014 has been crazy.

Crazy good.
Crazy busy.
Just… Crazy.

Since my last post, on my birthday back in May, life became utter chaos. I had only been back at work for a month and a half following my maternity leave and there was no rest for the weary. Between travel, a new baby, a demanding 6 year old and my running training, there was very little time left for my little blog. In the list of things that had to be cut to make more time in a demanding life, my blog had to be one of them. Oh, how I have missed it! Writing, sharing, chatting about my healthy life victories and epic mom fails is something that I enjoyed.

Let me catch you up on what you may have missed…

Kids: 
My son, Jack, turned SIX in September. SIX!! He started first grade (which is a whole other controversy to be discussed at a later date). It started out a little shaky – new school, new teacher, new friends to make and all. Thankfully he has things figured out and is doing beautifully – no question we made the right choice in sending him forward instead of holding him behind. He continues to be ridiculously smart which forces us to stay on our toes and sassy to the point where I wonder if he suddenly went from 5 to 12 years old. He ADORES his little sister and is a great big brother to her. We also discovered through his having a sibling that his heart truly belongs to his mama – this boy is a mama’s boy and this mama is not complaining!

Then there is my sweet Mackenzie. Can you even believe she turned 1 a few weeks ago? I still continue to stare at her in awe that she is even here in this world. She is seriously the easiest baby ever (or perhaps it is from our years of practice with Jack that she SEEMS so easy). From the moment we brought her in to her first day of daycare, she has been known as the “Smiling Baby.” This year has not been without drama with her – she has issues with one of her eyes and will be wearing glasses for a lifetime because of it. We discovered a mass in her belly over the summer – thankfully, it turned out to be nothing but a lipoma but a trip to Children’s Hospital for testing is not something I really want to do again anytime soon. She has also been slow to hit developmental milestones. While in part, we think this may be the way she is – she does things in her time. Her way. (Not sure what this means for the teenage years…). She doesn’t crawl, but she gets from point A to point B one way or another. Her pediatrician isn’t concerned just yet. We are patiently waiting for her to take her first steps and praying we do not have to see yet another specialist. She’s a champion eater. Girlfriend loves her food. All of it. Whatever we put in front of her so far she devours. Hmmmm…. like mother like daughter?

These kids are my everything. Despite my busy schedule, I rearrange everything to ensure they come first.

Health
For the most part, my 2014 health journey has been good. As you know if you have been reading my blog for any amount of time, I am incredibly hard on myself. I have managed to lose 50 of the 70 (holy crap) pounds gained during my pregnancy.

This year was also a pinnacle year for running. For those that have had a baby, you know that bouncing back is not easy. I had a high-risk pregnancy which meant no heavy duty exercise for 9 long months in addition to postpartum complications. Getting back in the game was not easy and not fun. It hurt. I struggled. I CONQUERED.
April – Get in Gear 5k: This was my first post-baby race. I had a sprained ankle. I was slow. But I did it.

July 17- Esprit de She 5k: I completed this 3 minutes faster than the Get in Gear, but it was not without struggle. It was HOT. The course was challenging. But I did it.

August 2 – Race for the Kids 5k: 2 minutes faster than the Esprit de She – I felt great about this race. The race was sponsored by my company so I was surrounded by many colleagues and cheerleaders. My husband also participated in the Inline Half Marathon so it was amazing to have him at the finish line.

My partner in life. I loved having him racing with me!

August 30 – Women Rock 10k: This was my next big challenge. I committed to it and halfway through my training wanted to kick myself in the ass for making this choice. How on earth was I going to run 6 miles when I could barely survive 3? I pushed through it  – running in the rain, the heat… I trained hard and gave myself a goal of completing it in under 1:20:00. I finished at 1:15:00.

October 25 – Monster Dash 10 Mile: Inspired and motivated by my superhero finish at the 10k, I convinced myself to take on the extra 4 miles and do the Monster Dash 10 mile. With the help of my running buddy and weeks of training, I actually did it. My goal was to finish in  2 hours or under, which was a bit aggressive for where I was at training-wise, and I finished at EXACTLY 2 hours. I PR’d both my 5k and 10k times and admittedly fell apart in mile 9. I discovered exactly which body parts need additional help in my future training and learned what runner’s toe is (not sure what runner’s toe is? Google it.).

My running buddy, Kathy. I could not have completed 10 miles without her.

My sweet boy was at the finish line to cheer me through to the last, painful step!

I ran a 10 miler less than a year after having my baby. Surreal. I may not have lost all the baby weight, but I blew away my running goals for the year. Surprised that I didn’t lose all the weight running those distances? I hit a plateau and because I was so focused on my run training, I wasn’t able to cross-train to bust through it. Kind of an excuse, but, not really. I was focused on healthy eating and held my weight very steady.

Then the holidays arrived… and I jumped ship…

Work
Probably the biggest opportunity of my professional life was presented to me this year. I was given the opportunity to head up the launch of my company’s field social media program. It was no easy feat – with hours of demanding work and many challenges I had to be 110% dedicated to the project. I am insanely proud of what I was able to accomplish in 2014 – fitting a full 12 months of work into a modified year because of maternity leave was not easy.

I am so thankful for an amazing team and for the opportunity to travel and meet so many awesome new people along the way.

In Summary…
2014 was GREAT. Despite having to work more and harder professionally than I ever have in my adult life and the struggle for work/life balance, I have zero complaints.

My family is complete. I have a job that I love. I ran faster and further than I thought I ever could.

I am so, so blessed.

Now that my maternity leave has officially ended, it is time.

Time to stop making excuses.

TIME TO GET MY GROOVE BACK!

No lie, coming back to work has not been easy. First and foremost, I miss my little girl more than I ever thought possible. In two weeks I already feel like I have missed so much and a measly 3 hours with her at night just doesn’t feel like enough. I remember being sad with Jack, but this time feels very raw. Is it because I’m a seasoned mom and actually ENJOY my baby this time around (PPD free)? Is it because she is my last baby? I guess as I get back into being quite busy at work, I have less time to be sad, but still. I miss her sweet face every day.

I miss her sweet, smiling face every day! (Just over 3 months here)

I tell him every day when I pick him up, “I missed you all day!” And I mean it.

I love that he adores his sister. Seeing them together is everything.

Starting back up at work again is more than just a challenge of the heart though. It is also a challenge to my checkbook. Let’s just say that the cost of daycare is my entire paycheck minus about maybe $100. So yes, I am working to send my kids to daycare. We thought we would get some relief after Jack starts summer camp? No dice. That is even MORE expensive than his Kindergarten program with all their field trips, activities and such. So, for the first time in years… we have to really start watching our pennies. I don’t mean that to be a humble brag- we are just good with our money management and always had money saved up for little luxuries here and there. We are more than grateful that we have never really had to be paycheck to paycheck (not to say that we won’t ever be in that place… we aren’t completely naive). The checkbook drainage was just a bit shocking. What does this mean? A few things are going to have to give. One of them being, I have to say goodbye to Medifast. At $300+ bucks a month, it has to go. I’m nervous about what that will mean for my weight loss nutrition. Medifast WORKS for me (I’ve lost 30 of the 50 lbs I gained in pregnancy in 3 months) but the last 20… Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I fear trying to do this on my own.

I know the last time I posted I had started the Ripped in 30 program again. Yeah. That. Ha. It lasted about a week. My efforts are not completely lost though. With the help of my now recalled Fitbit Force, I was able to watch my activity levels in conjunction with my food intake. Despite my lack of movement, I have managed to lose 10 pounds in a month. That’s not so bad! I do have Medifast to thank for that but I credit most of it to my rash inducing activity tracker. I have reported/participated in the Fitbit recall and am waiting for my refund check. Once I get it, I’ll be in the market for a new tracker. As much as I want to remain Apple geeky and wait for their smartwatch announcement, I kind of want one now. I have my eye on the Basis– it’s spendy, but techie cool.

The Fitbit Rash. As if this isn’t bad enough, this thing actually got worse. Blistered. Peeling. GROSS. It’s no joke, if you own a Fitbit Force, please be careful.

I have two (cheaper) fitness/nutrition options that I am looking into: DailyBurn has a nutrition program called Ignite that I feel would mimic Medifast nicely. The first 21 days on Ignite are “cleanse” of sorts (aka, eating clean) which is exactly what Medifast does throughout. In order not to quickly gain back after Medifast it is important to wean out of it (which is why completing the program is SO IMPORTANT!). The other is working through a Beachbody Coach and joining her 21 Day Fix Challenge Group. This coach is someone I “know” from an online mommy group that I joined when I was preggo with Jackson 6 years ago (!!!). She has really inspired me not only with her own weight loss story, but her postpartum fitness as well. I really appreciate her passion and they way she cheers on her participants. It would be easy to be intimidated by her because she is GORgeous, but if you read her blog and her posts, you would know that she gets it, is ridiculously passionate and she really keeps it real. She WANTS to help people. However… as much as I adore her, I am a little overwhelmed by the Beachbody thing. I feel like you need to keep buying workout programs (and they aren’t cheap) not to mention the whole Shakeology push (which if I’m going to do this, I may as well stay on Medifast). PLEASE correct me if I’m wrong- I know many out there who follow Beachbody, have coaches, ARE coaches so maybe you can give me your pitch before the month ends?

Importantly- I haven’t stopped running! I am currently training for two 5k’s in April and have my sights set on a 10k by the end of August! Here’s my selfie marking my first official outdoor run of 2014. Come on Spring. GET HERE NOW!

Most importantly, I need to find a way to get back my motivation. Between the exhaustion of being a new mom, going back to work and getting the freaking norovirus which shut me down this week, I am having a tough time. A year ago I was fit, healthy and motivated- I need to find that girl again. I need to find balance between being a mom, my career and taking care of my body and the hardest part? Not feeling guilty.

So, yes. It is TIME for this girl (with the totally new chopped hair)-

to GET HER GROOVE BACK.

One of the things I said I would never do when I lost all the weight 2 years ago and made goal was that I would never want to go through that again.

Alas… here I am. Square one. Starting Over.

However, it isn’t because I fell off the wagon. I gained weight for the BEST reason ever. I had a baby. Not just any baby, but a miracle baby. One that was never supposed to exist. So, was it worth the extra 50 pounds? A million times yes. I could have been better about my pregnancy weight gain, but honestly, it was the least of my worries.

Now that my princess is here, it is time to get serious about my health again. I am extremely motivated and ready to take it on and get back to the “me” I was a year ago.

1. Diet
After doing some additional research on various programs, I decided to go back to Medifast. It’s a program that I know and understand, plus, I know from 2 years ago that it works. Surprisingly, it doesn’t feel as difficult this time around, and I’m not sure if they made changes, but the food tastes different and better too. So far, I have lost 9 pounds in 5 weeks. Not quite the rapid loss I saw the first time I did this, but the weight is coming off. Despite the slowness being a frustration, I’m sure it is better that it is slow anyway and I’m okay with that.

2. Monitoring
I decided that it was time to take a closer look at my activity level. While maternity leave may not be the best time to get a lot of activity, I am looking at it a bit like a baseline. I chose to buy the Fitbit Force as I like that it has a display directly on the device to see my progress. I also really like the Fitbit website and app- the dashboard gives me a great overview of my day and I like that I can personalize my goals. So if you have a Fitbit, look me up!!!

3. Exercise
Of course, no weight loss program is complete without an exercise plan. Without question, I will resume my running. I have also started using a program called DailyBurn and I LOVE IT. DailyBurn provides workouts via website streaming- it’s like having a Group Fitness class right in your house. There are a number of different programs from Yoga to an Insanity-like program called Inferno. Since I will be getting my cardio via running (currently on my treadmill) so I have been using DailyBurn for toning. In addition, I have chosen to do the Jillian Michael’s Ripped in 30 before heading back to the office in a month. So here it is, my starting photo (may also serve as my “before” picture):

I can honestly say that that worst part about all of this is just getting started. Taking the first step truly IS the hardest. Medifast isn’t easy by any means, but certainly doable. The exercise? The sheer and utter soreness that I am experiencing is a reminder that I do NOT want to start over again.

The part that I’m most sad about is the running. I worked and trained so hard for 2 years and I am literally starting from day 1. My endurance is terrible. I am slow. It hurts. I won’t let it stop me though! My first race of 2014 will be the Earth Day 5k followed a week later by the Get in Gear 5k. I am also planning to run the Esprit de She, Electric Run and the pinnacle of my racing this year will be the Women Rock 10K.

The one good thing about starting over is that you get a fresh slate to right the wrongs and habits from before. Sure, there are different challenges that present themselves, but I feel good and positive that the changes I make now will be for a lifetime.

This WILL be the last time I have to lose weight.

That’s right. Today I turned 37 years old.

I convinced a colleague that I was turning 25. When I told her the truth, she was legitimately shocked.

I also did this over the weekend:

I ran the Get In Gear 5K in 34 minutes (and it was a perfect, PERFECT spring morning!)

21 year old me couldn’t and wouldn’t have done that.

Here’s to growing old with strength, grace and humor.

I have been absent from my blog this week for a couple reasons:

1. My workload is unbearable. I eat, sleep and breathe the current project I am on.

2. I needed some time to reflect.

I watched in jealousy as many friends and social buddies I have come to know qualified and trained for the Boston Marathon. I’m not sure I will ever be able to run a full marathon and very much look up to those who  do. I know it is the pinnacle of their running goals. The finish to a long, hard training journey.

As soon as I heard about the bombings at the Boston Marathon my heart was racing and I had a sick feeling in my tummy. Are my friends okay? Who would dare ruin an event that is only positive in every single way? Why? Why? Why?

Why the 8 year old little boy simply cheering on the runners, waiting for his daddy to cross the line? WHY?

Why did ANYONE have to suffer?

I have no answers. Only questions. Only hurt in my heart. Anger. Confusion.

The only solution I have for myself to be able to find any salvation in this horrific tragedy is prayer.

Prayer and my enormous resolve and duty as a runner to KEEP ON RUNNING.

I will run for those who cannot run anymore. I will continue to run in huge events to prove that I am not afraid of some coward who felt the need to blow up innocent people and children. The last two years that I have been running have been for me, but I feel like it isn’t only about me anymore. I am so immensely proud to call myself a part of the running community in this world. It is the most positive thing I have ever been a part of in my life and I refuse to let anyone take that away from me.

Next Saturday, April 27 marks the “true” start to my running season (although MN weather seems to have a different idea in mind. Snow? In April? Really?). As my running crew (official name is still TBD) heads out to the Get In Gear 5K, we are going to be fired up. On a mission. We won’t be running this just for ourselves or for our crew.

We are running for Boston.

I wish I could have gotten one of these t-shirts in time, because I would have definitely been wearing it next Saturday, but they are out of stock (which is actually pretty awesome):

I’m sure we will try to put together a way to show our support.

Our mission: Just. Keep. Running.

What is running to me? Pride. Joy. Satisfaction. Accomplishment. You can’t take that from me.
Notice, I am smiling in every single picture.

My #runforboston on Tuesday, April 16

Crossing the finish at the Get Lucky 7K

Me with 2 of the ladies from my running crew.

My dearest friend and running buddy.

Me & Kathy at the October 2012 Monster Dash 5K

Earth Day 5K 2012- I beat my goal time by an entire minute.

Me & My Girl Angie- Earth Day 5K Finish- April 2012

My first ever 5K- Race for Obesity.

My first race that started it all

Wishing you and the world all of the peace, love and joy I hold in my heart.

I have complained a bit about my holiday weight gain. Yes, it is the end of March and I am still bitching about gaining weight 3 months ago. As someone who has lost a massive amount of weight in the last two years, I will pretty much do anything to keep the weight off. As the scale has slowly moved up over the last 4 months or so, I have been freaking out a little.

When I found out about the DietBet, I thought, what the heck? Make some cash? Maybe this will be a good incentive to try something different to stay motivated. Losing weight is hard for me. It never comes easy and I have a hard time avoiding the things that cause me to gain (i.e. heavy carbs such as bread and rice and of course there is alcohol).

What is DietBet you ask? DietBet is a game where you’ve got 4 weeks to lose 4% of your starting weight. To begin, everyone puts money into the pot. After four weeks, whoever’s hit their 4% goal is a winner and splits the pot.

The game I joined? The pot is over $8,000.

So… yeah, you are basically betting that other people will fail which is kind of sad. How I am I doing with the bet? Well, I hit my 4% last week which is miraculous really; however… based on my alcohol consumption over the weekend (which wasn’t that much and annoys the piss out of me that it caused so much water gain), I am up a couple pounds as of today. I kind of feel like you need to exceed that 4% prior to the game ending so you have a buffer. Honestly, I’m not sure if I will make it.

Regardless of whether or not I make it back down to the 4% goal, it has helped me to refocus and invigorate my desire to maintain a healthy weight and a healthy lifestyle. I have had a number of personal issues weighing heavily (no pun intended) on me the last few weeks and all I have wanted to do was sit around and do nothing. I feel like even my day job work has suffered given the enormity of the distraction taking over all parts of my brain.  The DietBet has been a nice distraction for me.

Usually running is an excellent outlet for me to work out my issues, but I’ve been so blue that I haven’t wanted to do that much either. It really is out of the norm for me to feel this broken! So to help in getting back on track, I’ve put together a running/training schedule to get me pumped and ready for my next 5K on April 27th. I do think that once it actually turns into spring here in Minnesota that my mood will improve drastically. I do NOT enjoy running in the cold and snow so I have been anxious for a warm up. I’m so excited for my ladies running crew- we are kicking things off next week with a happy hour. How fitting! I am also considering my local Life Time Run Club- they do social runs 3 days a week and I think it would be a great way for me to meet other runners as well as push and challenge myself further in my running pursuits.

Here is my inspiration for success:

Crossing the Finish Line: Get Lucky 7K

And of Course…

Love this kid. He makes me want to be the best I can be.

I swear I’m going to make it out of this ridiculously long winter funk!